Beyond Grim and Evil 2: Return to Bunny Island
by Mysterious Storyteller
Summary: The power struggle was over, the Undertakers finished; but if Grim and the kids can do one thing it's hold a grudge, and Skarr's the butt end of it. Driven steadily towards madness, he has one option left to save his sanity. Ghastly and Hector, or will it be worse?
1. Prologue: Dream

Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

(A/N: Preceded by-Beyond Grim And Evil: Begin The Rest Of Destiny. This is probably the better laid out story of the two, so far, just so you know. The Undertaker's have seemingly dissolved; the Immortal Triad and all others returning back to their regular lives. There's been no threat, why should they go after Skarr [one of the Undertakers as revealed in Begin The Rest Of Destiny] for no reason? Skarr, however, is becoming increasingly depressed and desperate. His neighbors are driving him up the wall, and he needs a vacation. Where _better_ to go?)

_**Prologue: Dream**_

Beyond Grim and Evil, begin the rest of destiny…That melee was the first sign of looming disaster. Nothing much, random events all tied together, it seemed. Rather, random events that simply drew together the characters of the play that lay before them by any means possible. It didn't have to make sense, as long as they were brought together. Most of the cast was set. Most, but not all. What was next? Well…

It was supposed to be a dream, nothing more. A memory from _long_ ago. Sort of a flashback. How was he to know that this dream was no mere dream? How was he to know, at the time, that it was destiny calling out for him; utilizing him to help it set up the pieces of a deadly chess game in the far off future? Had he known it would eventually lead to _this_, shivering in the rain on the brink of the battle to end all battles-at least in Endsville-he would never have agreed; despite what he would have lost had he not gone back. He glanced over at the thing he was focused on at the moment. If this was to be the last time he saw... No. It wouldn't happen. It _couldn't_. He placed a hand on his sword, his pistol already prepared.

How could this have happened? It was a memory. Plain and simple. Just a memory between the three of them. But by the immortals, it was uncanny; the fact that it was completely and totally one hundred percent accurate down to the last word, the last detail. It was coming to light again. A memory they'd long forgotten about. After all, the past didn't matter. The fact had been they had met, they had formed the organization, one had left, and things had gone down from there. Funny how that memory of their first meeting should appear again _now_; after all this time.


	2. Rise Of Evil Con Carne

Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

(A/N: This story will be shorter and better written than the last by far, probably. As well as a little lighter, in most places. Open with flashback.)

_**Rise Of Evil Con Carne (Past)**_

Hector Con Carne hadn't said much since discovering what had become of him. Major Doctor Ghastly did her best to cheer him up with her bubbly personality and promises they'd get his body back one day. _One_ day? He wanted it _now_. He sighed. He supposed, though, he shouldn't be short with her. After all, she'd saved his life, pulled him from the brink of death by means of a 'miracle medical slash scientific procedure,' as she'd put it, he would never in a million years have guessed would work. Perhaps he'd been wrong not to hire her right off the bat. He scoffed to himself. Perhaps nothing. He _was_ wrong. Sorely, sorely, wrong. Now he was paying for it. He'd marvelled at why she hadn't just _left_ him. He was glad she hadn't, though. If she wanted to be loyal, let her. She wasn't bad looking _anyway_. He'd always liked redheads.

"Ghastly, how are you doing with finding my body!" he demanded.

"No luck so far chief," she answered. Sighing, she turned to him and said, "I think we're going to need to find you a temporary replacement.

"_Replacement_! I don't want no stinking _replacement_!" Hector protested.

"It's the best I can _do_ chief, I'm just one person," Ghastly defended.

"I want my body back!" he exclaimed miserably, sobbing.

"Aw, cheer up chief. I'll tell you what. You stay here and I'll go out scouting for a test subject for you," Ghastly reassuringly said.

"A powerful one?" he questioned meekly.

"_Very_ powerful," Ghastly agreed.

"A mighty and vicious fighter whom no one dare face?" Hector excitedly asked, clenching his brain stem mightily like it was a fist.

"Uh, sure," Ghastly replied uncertainly, forcing a wide grin. It sounded a little extreme, but if it would make Hector happy.

"Excellent," Hector stated. He laughed evilly, then finished, "Go quickly my dear Ghastly. Bring me back this weapon of destruction!"

"Righty 'o' chief," Ghastly exclaimed, saluting and grinning widely. He'd called her 'my dear!' She raced eagerly out, calling, "I'll be back by tomorrow at the latest!"

ECC

Ghastly wandered dejectedly through the darkening streets. _Nothing_. She'd been out here all day and she hadn't found a single person or thing that met Hector's standards. She couldn't go back a failure. She _couldn't_! She sighed. She needed something to cheer her up. All at once she heard music and paused, curious. That was weird. It sounded almost like… she turned her head to the park to look, and her face took on an expression of pure ecstasy. A circus! It was a circus! She squealed in delight and ran to it. She hadn't been to a circus since she was a little _girl_! She'd _loved_ it! That was just what she needed. Besides, some of the 'carney's'-as they were so unkindly, or kindly depending on the individual, dubbed-were really athletic. Quick, powerful, majestic, brave… They could make _great_ bodies for Hector!

Soon enough she was settled in the front row eagerly watching the parade, grinning widely. There were so many subjects to _choose_ from! And the circus itself wasn't half bad. Let's see, her first choice had been the ring master. He was a leader, and he wasn't bad looking either. Then again, this circus was so well put together it would be a shame to take their head. She frowned and scanned again. The acrobats were good, but they were so beautiful working together. If she took even one it would throw the whole set off, darn it. The strongman? Nah. The clowns? No way. The ones standing on the backs of the horses whose name's escaped her? Unlikely, though they were majestic. Who, then? The circus was almost at its end, and she was feeling depressed again. One more act to go.

"Introducing Boskov the Russian circus bear, and his trainer Vlad!" the ringmaster announced. A drumroll sounded, and the spotlights fell on a creature in a cage. It roared furiously, and Ghastly gasped as his trainer whipped at him, driving him out of the cage. She covered her mouth, eyes instantly filled with pity as she shook her head. Oh the poor thing. He looked so sad, so confused, so dejected. He looked over at her in a panic, and for a moment she was reminded of a child looking to its parents for protection. She felt her heart go out to him. Vlad whipped him again, forcing him towards the obstacle course she just knew he didn't want to do.

She looked around at the set up and felt sick. It was a _death_ trap! It was nothing short of a miracle the poor creature had survived so long! Wait… Powerful, a mighty vicious fighter no one dared face, and by the looks of it one heck of a lucky duck. He had to be really tough. That was it! She'd found her subject! Not only would she get him away from that horrid trainer of his, and she didn't like the man in the least, Hector would get what he wanted and he'd be proud of her! And who knew? Pride could very well lead to love. Her mind was _definitely_ made up. After the circus, she was sneaking the poor captive animal out of here.

ECC

Ghastly quietly moved through the streets, one goal in mind. To get Boskov out and away undetected. No problem for a mad scientist genius like her, right? She heard snoring in one of the cages. It definitely _sounded_ like the bear. Silently she moved towards it. Turning on her night vision goggles, she examined the slumbering creature through the bars. It was Boskov. Gently she sang, "Psst, Boskov. Oh Boskov." The creature growled lowly and turned over. "Boskov, please wake up!" she gently prodded.

The bear slowly opened one eye, looking in her direction. On seeing her he sat curiously up and moved cautiously towards the bars. "That's a good boy Boskov. Come to mama," she cooed, beckoning. He stopped near her and sniffed. "Awe, you're just like a big teddy bear," she said, giggling. The bear grinned and licked her hand affectionately, wagging his stub of a tail. "Do you want to get out of here?" she questioned.

The bear's eyes widened in hope, and he nodded eagerly, grunting a reply that sounded eerily like, "Uh huh, uh huh."

"Good, because I'm here to free you," she declared. "You're a lucky boy. No more running through death traps. You'll be hosting the remnants of a great mind and stomach, though. He needs a body, after all. I promise it won't hurt, and I won't take away your free will," she continued to narrate as she fiddled with the lock.

The bear hesitated, but honestly it couldn't be much worse than being shot from cannons through rings of fire and into shark pools. Especially if _this_ nice lady would be there. He nodded excitedly, growling something that again sounded eerily like, "Okay." Ghastly giggled as the lock fell away.

She walked inside and took Boskov's arm, saying, "Hurry Boskov hon, before anyone sees us. And keep quiet. I'm Major Doctor Ghastly, by the way," Boskov nodded eagerly and followed this Major Doctor Ghastly.

ECC

"What is taking her so long? I want my body!" Hector complained aloud to nothing. No response. He looked around then sighed in annoyance. He'd have to rebuild his empire from the ground up. He'd lost _everything_. Well, except his money, but still. He'd lost his base of operations, his home, his hideout, his body guards, his guard guards, his militia. Who knew whether _they_ were killed or just took off? He growled. He needed to redo _everything_. When Ghastly got back, he'd get her to look up real estate for sale. Surely there was _something_ out there.

"Chief, I'm back!" he heard her call.

"Well, _that_ was lucky," he remarked aloud. She then entered, saying, "Just wait until you see the body I found for you!"

"Well show it to me already Ghastly," Hector insisted.

"Introducing the one, the only, Boskov!" Ghastly elaborately said, bowing as she moved out of the doorway. In strode the bear looking around in awe. Hector blinked blankly. "So, what do ya think chief?" Ghastly eagerly questioned.

After a moment of twitching, Hector replied, "What do I _think_? What do I _think_! It's a stupid idea! Who gave you such a thought! You want me to be attached to the body of a stupid _circus_ bear!" He recalled seeing the circus where this bear came from only a little _while_ ago.

"Oh, don't be so hard on him chief. Look at that face," she said, taking his face. "How can you not love a face like that?" She began talking to Boskov in baby talk, which the creature ate up excitedly.

"Ghastly!" Hector shot, bringing her back to the topic at hand.

"Oh, right. You wanted powerful, bears are powerful. You wanted a fighter that could strike fear into hearts and that none would dare mess with. Who better than the king of the _forest_? The majestic Boskov the bear!" Ghastly defended.

Hector groaned and complained, "Why me?"

Moments later Ghastly stated, "There we are chief, Boskov. See, that wasn't so bad, _was_ it?"

"Ooh," Boskov said. He then laughed.

"Now you won't have full control, Mr. Con Carne. I wasn't looking to take away poor Boskov's free will now, was I? You'll be able to control him to a degree, but he's pretty well trained," Ghastly narrated.

Hector tested it out, wiggling Boskov's fingers. The bear was intrigued. He laughed and then grabbed back control, scratching his back. "Why me?" Hector groaned. He _hated_ not having full control over his situation. At least he was alive, he told himself. "Ghastly, I want you to start looking up real estate for sale. We need a base of operations. Cod Commando knows where I am here. Besides, there's no _way_ I can rebuild this mess."

"In a jiffy chief. Try to get in some bonding time with Boskov. You two will be stuck together for a while," Ghastly stated, walking off.

Hector frowned down at the bear, who grinned innocently up at him, then stated, "The moment I get my body back, you'll be nothing but a bear skin rug!" Boskov roared happily, hugging Hector's brain jar as if Hector had just complimented him. Hector blinked then frowned, complaining, "Stupid circus bear."

ECC

"All right Mr. Con Carne, we've gone through _everything_. This is the last one," Ghastly said in exasperation, typing down the last command.

"They're all so dull, so boring, so un-villainy," Hector complained. However, as the last one was pulled up, his eyes widened. "Yes, yes!" Hector exclaimed. Ghastly blinked blankly at it, then at him, then back. "That's perfect Major Doctor, _perfect_!"

Ghastly raised an eyebrow and asked, "Um, are you sure chief. It looks kind of, I don't know, Bunny like. Harmless."

"_Precisely_ Major! It is because it looks harmless that Cod Commando will never suspect! Or if he does, he certainly won't take us _seriously_," Hector exclaimed. "Major Doctor Ghastly, I want Bunny Island!"

"Okay sir, if that's what you want," she replied uncertainly. With a click, the place was theirs.

ECC

It was a few weeks later, after they'd done a bit of setting up, that Hector approached Ghastly, saying, "Ah Ghastly, things have been coming along splendidly. Now all we need to do is rebuild my militia, and everything will be _perfect_!"

"Right on chief, but where are we gonna find a whole new militia?" Ghastly questioned.

"Where _else_, Ghastly? To the military base!" he exclaimed. "We sneak into the ranks under a guise and tour around a bit."

"Tour? Aren't you a wanted criminal _hunted_ by the military?" Ghastly asked.

"Not yet. I've managed to stay under the radar so far, but I _will_ be," Hector stated certainly. "Come on." Ghastly, curious, followed her boss.

Soon enough the two were looking out over the training grounds, watching the troops do their thing. "Wow," she said in awe.

"_Look_ at them all Ghastly! So many to _choose_ from, all of them just clueless enough to follow without hesitation," Hector stated.

"Wow," she repeated. Curiously looking at him, she asked, "Who are you gonna hire chief?" Hector was silent a moment, thoughts whirling through his head.

He'd already made a mistake in hiring a mad scientist. That Cod Commando and his trickery had ruined _everything_. And just for a pretty face at _that_; albeit one who seemed brilliant; for she, rather Cod, _had_ built that bomb. He wouldn't make that mistake again. His first choice for second in command would be the General whom _Ghastly_ chose to follow; or rather whom Ghastly paid most attention to, for Ghastly was level headed, competent, and a good judge of character. Soon he looked at her and answered, "I'm not sure yet. Ghastly, go undercover and patrol the ranks like you're evaluating them or something. Look for soldiers who would be worthy additions yet still seem like they'd betray their country for us." _She_ would watch the General's _too_, he knew. Just like him. They were easily distinguishable amongst the common throng. By the end of this visit, he'd have his army, he'd have his General and second in command, he'd be ready to take on the world. _Literally_.

ECC

Ghastly understood his _excuse_, but she still wasn't entirely sure why he'd sent her here to check them all out. After all, they could have just observed from close by, _couldn't_ they? There were so many prime candidates, but somehow Ghastly doubted any of them were worth the effort it would take to either trick them into submission by saying they were promoted, or tell them flat out the truth. The second option didn't seem likely. They may not have been the brightest lot, but would even _they_ betray their jobs to join her and Hector if they told the truth. She _highly_ doubted it. The Generals were stellar; leading the troops like it was second nature. Again, though, none of them _felt_ quite right. They all looked the same. They all _acted_ the same. They all followed the book to the _letter_, and it was getting on her nerves. They were so _predictable_. Evil Con Carne couldn't have predictable. None were standing out to her. She was pretty darn sure Hector was having the same thoughts.

She looked up hopelessly at her boss, who met her eyes understandingly. She sighed. She was becoming discouraged quickly. This was going to be another failure for them, she just _knew_ it. And they hadn't even _started_ on world domination. It was then that she noticed Hector perk up. Someone had caught his attention. She followed her crush's gaze, and there she spotted him. She froze, straightening up. Well _this_ guy was a welcome change. She was just beginning to think she was walking through a field of _robots_. _This_ one, though, looked almost bored, eyes half shut and yawning as if he had a million better things to do. He leaned against the tree. It was strange, she realized, but though he looked about ready to fall asleep, she could just tell that if anyone tried sneaking up on him it would end badly. He was as alert as the most awake of them, if not more.

She looked up at Hector. He was watching _her_ again. Maybe he'd chosen to ignore the strange General by the tree, but _she_ hadn't. This one was worth checking out, she felt. Hector watched her make her way towards the figure that had caught his own attention, reading her to see what she would do. She was heading to him. That was a good sign. Maybe, just maybe, they'd found the solution.

ECC

Now really, she didn't know why she was focusing on this guy. If anything, he looked like the most useless one of them _all_. He looked uncommitted, uninterested, but then _she_ would be _too_, considering the boring repetitive drills. He looked lazy, uncaring, but something told her that, though he may have been uncaring and unmotivated, or disinclined to follow orders, lazy was the _last_ thing he was. Perhaps this one was a soldier to be watched. The down side was that he was probably one to be watched for more reasons than just a potential recruit. You see, everything about him screamed traitor. She hadn't heard him speak, hadn't seen him in action, but she sensed it. If they took him on, they'd have to be ever wary, ever vigilant, ever on their guard. But oh he would be worth it if she and Hector turned out to be right about him.

A Private marched up to him just then, saying, "General Skarr, _sir_!"

This General Skarr looked boredly at the man then sighed deeply, replying, "Well what is it? What do you want? Get on with it already. I haven't got all day. Oh wait!" For a moment he sounded excited. That sarcasm was quickly revealed when he added, "Yes, I _do_."

"Permission to request why you are not running laps, _sir_!" the soldier stated.

Skarr glared at him, eyes narrowing. He blinked, the soldier blinked, and the awkward silence went on a long moment before the Private awkwardly cleared his throat. Skarr sighed in annoyance and rolled his eyes. Annoying upstarts. Finally he answered, "Permission denied."

"But sir…" the soldier began.

"Because I don't _feel_ like it, okay? I can't be bothered. I get the gist of it _anyway_. Run away from death, run away from explosions, run after enemies, run, run, run. If you absolutely _must_ know more, I've already _done_ them. This morning before breakfast even _began_. It's not like I had anything _better_ to do in this dump," General Skarr stated, getting angry. "Now silence in the barracks and get back to your laps! Why it'll be a wonder if you survive a _fake_ battle at _this_ rate!" Quickly the soldier bolted. "Ugh, I hate my life."

The General had actually unnerved the other soldier, and Ghastly had a few more traits to put to the odd man. He definitely didn't go by the book. He ran with his _own_ schedule and orders. He was cynical, hateful, couldn't be bothered with anyone he saw as lesser than himself, and he detested this dreary army job. She could sense he wanted to do more. So much more. Put his talents to some use other than training soldiers for a war that would probably never come. She couldn't help but smirk. Maybe the search was over. No, Ghastly, no time to be closed minded. The chief was counting on her. She had to look around a bit more before making her final decisions.

She was about to walk away when suddenly a voice bellowed, "General Skarr, stand to attention!" She gasped and whirled in time to see the General stiffen up, suddenly wide awake and standing erect, saluting. Possibly a bit of a fake suck-up, too. Hector would like that.

ECC

"Yes _sir_, General," Skarr replied quickly. Oh great. He'd hoped he wouldn't _see_ this moron today. Time to play kiss-up. Or, who knew, maybe defiance if the other General put him out of sorts.

"Who do you think you are soldier?" the other demanded.

Skarr smirked. The idiot had walked right into this one. He answered with a cold smile, "General Reginald Peter Skarr, sir, and you?"

"Don't play cute man! This is serious business!" the other shot.

"Oh please, they could get the same exercise running around an elementary school playground," Skarr retorted, frowning. He was right, the guy was rubbing him the wrong way.

"You know full well that isn't so General! We run an intensive program here!" the other shot.

"Which I finished before _breakfast_. Face it, your program is for the birds. It's about time you upgraded it. After all, there might actually _be_ a war. Not one of those little skirmishes around wannabe super villains or rebels," Skarr retorted.

"You're out of line General!" the other stated.

"What are you going to do about it?" Skarr questioned with an icy challenging smirk.

"I have half a mind to report you, soldier! How does solitary sound!" the other General demanded.

A dreamy smile came over Skarr's face as he answered, "Oh it sounds perfect. I'll take two weeks paid vacation." Ghastly covered her mouth, stifling a chuckle. She'd never seen such boldness and disrespect to an authority. It was amusing, but probably not what Hector wanted. It was definitely a stark contrast to the earlier sucking up. Maybe it depended on the mood the higher up put him in, but still it was probably not what Hector was anticipating. Still, she wrote this General Skarr down as a definite potential. If all else failed… well, you get the picture. With that she continued on.

ECC

Lunch time arrived and all personal were gathered in the mess tent. The head of the military base rose up and called loudly, "Attention!" The soldiers instantly reacted, rising. Well, _most_ did. There was a battalion near the back who were either sleeping, eating, talking, or looking just plain dumb. "Pay attention maggots! There's a visitor with us today along with his lovely assistant! Hector Con Carne and Major Doctor Andedonia J. Ghastly, rise and assemble in front!" Hector and Ghastly walked up to the front and looked out over the soldiers, Ghastly smiling pleasantly, Hector fixing them with an authorative gaze. "Major Doctor Ghastly will be making herself at home through the divisions! She will be joining in your exercises and evaluating you through scrupulous eyes! You may even get a promotion. Don't you _dare_ shame this army soldiers."

"Sir, no sir!" the army exclaimed. General Skarr, with the other General's, simply rolled his eyes. He hadn't even bothered _standing_.

Spotting this, Hector began, "You there, General…"

"General Reginald Peter Skarr, sir," Ghastly informed, having remembered the name.

"Thank you Ghastly. General Skarr, why aren't you standing at attention!" Hector demanded.

Skarr raised half his eyebrow then rose, answering, "Because I don't see the point. Just another evaluation. What happened to _you_?"

Hector blinked and looked down at Boskov blankly. Boskov grinned, giving out a series of roars that made sense to no one. Except, apparently, Hector, for the brain stomach bear hybrid thing replied, "That's none of your business Boskov!"

"Actually, _I've_ been wondering about that _myself_," the head stated.

"I was blown up in a tremendous explosion, all right! Major Doctor Ghastly saved my life with these containment units then found me a new body. One day, though, I will reclaim my true form and take over the…" Hector began.

Ghastly quickly covered his mouth, hissing, "Shh!" Skarr, though, had become instantly more intrigued. Hector, noticing this, mentally smirked. So Skarr had a brain. More of one than half of the _others_ he'd seen. This General continued to impress. Apparently he also knew full well what he had meant to say before Ghastly's interruption. Plus, he wasn't betraying his motive to the army.

"Mr. Con Carne, Miss Ghastly, join us at our table," the base leader stated.

"Oh most definitely," Hector replied eagerly. This man was a General. Now he'd _really_ get a chance to evaluate them all.

ECC

Hector's hope fell to exasperation and annoyance as lunch went on. All they talked about was drills, potential threats, how great their battalions were. They were boasting, yes, and their boast's impressive, but Hector just wasn't _feeling_ it. Though they all seemed powerful, it appeared as if not a single one had a mind of their own. They followed the book to the letter, they said what they were supposed to say, voiced their strong opinions, at least the few who seemed to even _have_ their own ideas, about their loyalty to the League of Nations. It was actually quite sickening. All but one.

Hector glanced over at the General Skarr. The man looked bored out of his tree, even napping. This was the sixth time he'd observed the man. At the moment he wasn't asleep, just smiling dreamily up at the roof as if daydreaming about a hundred things he longed to do at that moment. If the cruel glint was any indicator, none of the dreams ended well for the army base. Ghastly was keenly observing the man as well, exchanging knowing glances with Hector. Hector beckoned her to lean in. She obeyed. He then said, "Keep an open mind Ghastly. The others may not be much of conversationalists, but that will not matter as long as they can lead and follow orders. We don't know how this, General Skarr, will fare against them."

Ghastly nodded, agreeing, "Sure thing chief." Hector was right. They were looking for the best of the best. They couldn't be deterred by a maverick who only _appeared_ to be different. In more ways than one. Compared to the other General's, his build didn't promise much, nor did his attitude. She would see these men in action on the field.

Just then Hector questioned, "So, which battalion belongs to which General?" Finally they all stopped talking to look at him in pleased surprise. Skarr still was daydreaming, unaware of the conversation happening around him. The head instantly narrated which battalion belonged with which General, and with each passing one Hector looked more and more interested, for they were steadily improving.

Finally he ended the narrative. One battalion was still unaccounted for, though, and Ghastly couldn't help herself. Curiously she questioned, "What about the slobs? Who do _they_ belong to, or are they just wannabe's?"

ECC

"_Them_?" the head questioned after getting over the surprise of her even bothering to ask. The other General's burst into laughter, startling General Skarr out of his daydream. He looked confused, but within seconds he had caught up to what was happening. He cringed in horrified alarm. Finally managing to stop laughing, the head replied, "Those are General _Skarr's_ latest conquest." Hector's face was falling to disappointment along with Ghastly's, for she'd been so sure, when suddenly…

"By process of elimination!" Skarr instantly defended, eyes lighting furiously up as he shot up and leaned over the table. "You _stuck_ me with the bums!" What's this? Hector was paying more attention again. Ghastly's hope instantly returned, and she listened intensely.

"If you can't handle the pressure, then just give up and walk away Skarr," a second replied.

"Can't handle the _pressure_!" Skarr furiously shot.

"Two weeks and he hasn't even _started_ with them. They're a lost cause under a pathetic excuse for a General," a third General stated.

"You think I can't _handle_ them!" Skarr demanded.

"Where all of ours are at their peak, yours are at their lowest," the head stated.

"Oh really? Before you couldn't even get them _up_ until lunch," Skarr growled through gritted teeth. "Even _then_ they would come to the mess hall still in _underwear_. At least they use _utensils_ now! And I'll have you know, I accomplished that without really even _trying_! If you want me out, _sir_, then fire me!" The head said nothing. "I thought not," General Skarr stated with an air of triumph as he sat back down.

Now Hector, Boskov, Stomach, and Ghastly weren't sure _what_ to think, and their gazes to each other betrayed as much. On learning which battalion was his, they'd pretty much thrown him as an option out the window. Until, of course, he'd talked back and defied those who were taunting him. They had belittled him, but he'd turned it right around. Barely even trying and he'd turned a group of pathetic whatever's into something of a functioning battalion within two weeks. He could have done better; a great and committed General _would_ have. Then again, he hadn't even really tried, and he wasn't all that committed to this army. They'd been able to tell _that_ much, at least.

Then again, if he were really so useless, why didn't his fellow Generals or superior's just fire him and get the whole thing over with? It was obvious they didn't like him and wanted him gone. When he'd talked back, though, and challenged them to try, they hadn't taken the bait. Why? If he was only on par or equal to the other General's, why hadn't he just _quit_ on the battalion and demanded _another_? Heck, why hadn't he just _quit_? They seemed the type of slackers that would drive a sane person crazy. And why had the other General's given it to him in the _first_ place when even _they_ didn't dare risk trying it? Especially if they'd thought he was no good. Perhaps… perhaps they'd given them over to Skarr because he was the _only_ one who had a hope of fixing them. They had no way of knowing, but Ghastly would find out. She was on a mission.

ECC

Ghastly walked throughout the training grounds, taking notes as she went and joining in with the exercises. None of the General's, though, really did it for her. She tried to follow the lead of some of the best ones, but she just couldn't get behind them. Or even identify with them. If she tried to be cordial or speak normally, they ignored, stuck to the book, or pulled rank on her and ordered her back to the exercises. That was all fine and dandy, but she just couldn't picture herself following any of these men, and it _would_ ultimately be _her_ following _them_.

She casually joined the ranks of one of the General's in order to keep an eye on the men. This General was the one that had held command over the most powerful looking brigade. This brigade was efficient, she had to admit. Very _much_ so. They would be perfect. Approvingly she made some notes. Unfortunately, they didn't seem to be the kind that would betray their jobs for the paramilitary life. Just in case, though. Seeing another lineup marching past, she slipped over to it. Not quite as impressive as the first, but then she hadn't expected them to be. She frowned, marking them down. She scanned the area for another. Wait. There was that General Skarr! Unbelievable. He'd actually gotten the men out of the _mess hall_! They looked terrified too. He must have really cracked down after the insults he'd been belittled with throughout lunch. And the insults that had come when his brigade had refused to move from the mess hall until they decided they were good and ready.

Regardless of what had happened, they were by some miracle out. In all honesty she was shocked. The way the army spoke… They despised the General. They wanted him gone. They wanted him to break under their iron fists, to give up and just leave the military for good; for they apparently couldn't afford to _fire_ him. She didn't see why, but there was something there that protected him from dishonorable discharge. The man was stubborn, she realized. Stubborn, hateful, and defiant. Somehow she doubted that the General would _ever_ yield. Huh, that was weird. How she was dubbing him _the_ General, that is, when there were many more. He wasn't the only one. She stopped. No. It wasn't weird at all, actually. Now that she thought about it, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to dub him as such. She couldn't see herself referring to him as anything else _but_ her General. She watched him a moment, letting the other brigade go on.

ECC

It was then that the man noticed her. He frowned, bored expression fading, and curtly questioned, "Ah Major Doctor Ghastly. To what do I owe the displeasure? Con Carne set you on me?" The men began to get sloppy, instantly falling off. They figured they were safe. Their General wasn't looking anymore, after all. What had they to fear? He wouldn't notice if they fell off. Wrong. Sharply he looked at them and barked, "Attention! Straighten up you pathetic slobs!" Instantly they obeyed, shocked. She herself wondered how he'd seen them. She also wondered greatly what methods he'd used to get them to shape up and leave mess hall.

"Oh, no reason General. I just thought I'd join you and see how, you know, things are done under _your_ command," she replied.

"After the stories _you_ heard at lunch? You're not like other Major's, _are_ you? Most have given up on me by now," he questioned dully.

"No siree General Skarr," she verified.

"Oh great. A bubbly optimist. Just what I needed," Skarr vaguely insulted.

"You bet sir," Ghastly responded, letting the dig slide.

He smirked coldly. Not one to be easily shaken, _was_ she? "Join in," he agreed.

"Thanks. You're like, the only one who's actually accepted me into the ranks," Ghastly remarked.

"And why not? I've seen women soldiers who have proven themselves well enough," Skarr nonchalantly stated with a shrug. "Besides, I would rather be a lowly private in a battalion made up of all _women_, than the General of _this_ imbecilic lot of men."

"What we lack in strength, we make up for in leadership, wiles, and stealth skill," Ghastly declared. He chuckled; the closest thing to a laugh she'd heard from him _yet_. She moved next to the men standing at attention with a smile.

"Fall in!" Skarr ordered. Ghastly instantly fell in. Surprised, and not to be undone, the men followed her lead. Skarr smirked approvingly at her. Well, this promised to be _much_ easier _now_. At least as long as _she_ was around. She was a good influence on the slobs, he saw. "Company march!" he ordered. Instantly they paraded after him. For a time things were fine. For a time they obeyed every order given by the General. Then came the obstacle course…

ECC

"But we don't wanna," the men whined. Oh Skarr was ready to kill them, teeth gritted.

"Oh brother," Ghastly complained. "Okay, listen up you maggots! You're climbing up that wall and through the obstacle course whether you like it or not! Get moving!" Shocked and slightly scared, the men headed for the course worriedly.

Skarr blinked, then smirked, impressed, saying, "Nice one." The two burst into laughter. Huh, first time she heard him laugh. Go figure. They leapt on the wall and easily scaled it, passing even the others. From the top Ghastly spotted Hector and waved. He beckoned to her. She looked confused.

"Hector is calling you," Skarr remarked, stating the obvious.

"I wonder what he wants," she mused. Easily she clambered down the other side with a curious Skarr, then hurried towards Hector.

He'd come to the field when he'd seen her scrambling along with General Skarr's battalion. As he watched he realized that even if _she_ hadn't made her choice, depending on how the rest of the week went, _he_ had. He'd seen enough of the General to be convinced. She was following this man's lead. She was obeying his commands and helping aid him in whipping the pathetic battalion into shape. If Skarr was able to finish the process on his own relatively well, for he planned on beckoning Ghastly away so they could observe, as far as _he_ was concerned the man was _hired_. Besides, no other would likely willingly agree to join them. This one, though… This one wasn't all black and white right and wrong. Even if he were, he wouldn't care, Hector sensed. Evil emanated from the man, and so help him he wanted that wickedness harnessed. This next week would be quite interesting.

ECC

It was almost the end of the week. Hector and Ghastly watched in anticipation as the General's battalion reached the main and most difficult part of the obstacle course. The first day they'd been there, the men had been panting and gasping by the time they reached it, unable to continue. Skarr had face palmed and shaken his head hopelessly. They'd begged to be let go come dinner. As if. They'd failed their leader too many times. Skarr was _through_ with it. He'd forced them mercilessly into drill after drill that went so far off of the planned training the army had prepared that it was ridiculous. He had completely thrown the plan out the window, implementing his own ideas and orders. Apparently he'd given up on the army's measures in favor of his own experience, and it had worked.

The other General's had all scoffed, but oh how well Skarr's own planning had worked. Before the end of the day they'd run the thing over and over until they made it in an acceptable amount of time. Over the course of the week they'd steadily gotten faster, better. They hardly ever screwed it up anymore. In fact, by the time they'd gotten here at this point in time now, nothing had been able to touch them. They had become as quick and disciplined as any other battalion, albeit still an odd mixture who often failed or messed up if things got too laid back or they didn't take something seriously. In fact, they couldn't even _shoot_ right. And more often than not they fell into chaos and panic at the beginning of a threat. That would require working on, Hector and Ghastly realized. Still, most of what the soldiers didn't take seriously was what their _General_ didn't. Now they were watching, waiting to see how this would go. If he succeeded… Enough said. The whistle was blown. "Charge!" Skarr ordered, drawing his rapier and pointing it ahead.

Ghastly shivered in anticipation. Hector gasped in excitement. They'd observed this man at work with sword play and guns. He had _shamed_ the other Generals, anyone who dared even _try_ and challenge him. He'd wiped the floors with them all. The others had been _nothing_ compared to his speed, skill, and grace with the blade. His shooting was something to marvel at as well. He hadn't missed a single target. He might as well have been a sniper. He implemented karate moves the other General's couldn't hope to complete. The other members of the military were _pathetic_ compared to him. At least when he got _determined_ enough. _Their_ skills lay more in the demolitions and usual army training areas, with exception to the specialized performers, and even _they_ had paled in comparison. The General was rounded in all abilities, excelled in speed, and oh how he was defiant if he needed to be. He wouldn't go down easily. When he _did_ lose physically, which was often they admitted, he became sulky, but he always bounced back eventually with his own strengths.

On his orders his battalion took off like shots, far ahead of the others. They scaled the wall and surpassed each obstacle like it weren't even _there_. Skarr grinned wickedly, victoriously, as they went. The other General's looked on in shocked disbelief. He laughed cruelly as his men crossed the finish, and crooned, "_Yes_! _Victory_! To the victor goes the spoils!" The other General's looked furious as he went to greet the men, grin spread across his face.

"And how," Hector stated out of the blue, slowly clapping as he approached the General and his men with Ghastly at his side. Skarr and the large battalion looked curiously back at him. "Congratulations, General Skarr, you've won a once in a lifetime opportunity," Hector stated.

Instantly suspicious, eyes narrowing, Skarr questioned, "Oh really? What, pray tell, is _that_?"

"A chance for you to join _us_, and your battalion too," Ghastly replied, clenching her fist. Skarr stood straighter, now intrigued.

ECC

"Now tell me, why should I be interested in your offer?" Skarr questioned after he'd brought the two into his battalion's bunkhouse.

"Because you want power. You want an opportunity to shine. You don't deserve to be the underdog here in a place that lacks the excitement you want and doesn't even acknowledge your many talents," Hector tempted.

"And you _would_?" Skarr asked sarcastically.

"We are the two leaders of an international evil organization by the name of Evil Con Carne. Well, we will be once I have gained a militia. And a second in command," Hector replied.

Skarr spewed out the water he was drinking and coughed. Finally he looked at the two in disbelief. Had he just been offered a second in command position? "You're joking, right?"

"No sir, General. We were here to scout out a worthy army leader. You took the cake," Ghastly stated. "You and your battalion join us, and we'll drag you from your dreary army job. You'll come with us, and you'll be second in rank only to Hector himself. We three will head the organization."

"Whose plans are too…?" Skarr fished, though he knew full well what the plans would be. He'd seen that the moment they came and admired and envied it with such passion it wasn't even funny.

"What else? Take over the world," Hector answered. The soldiers began to mutter. Skarr, however, simply blinked. Soon, though, he grinned evilly, eyes glittering maliciously.

"And you're sure this will be worth my time?" Skarr questioned.

"Anything's better than _this_," Ghastly stated, waving her hand around. General Skarr followed the gesture.

"True that," he finally admitted. He faced them again and offered his hand, saying, "General Reginald Peter Skarr, at your command sir."

"Excellent," Hector villainously replied, shaking to seal the deal; and it hadn't been long after that when Skarr had realized that really, he wasn't much better off. It wasn't long after realizing this that he and Hector had had a problem.

ECC

That problem happened to be the eye the General had lost in the line of duty during one of Con Carne's ill-fated plans involving lasers and running with a pair of scissors. He hated it when mothers were right. You see, at that first arguments end, Hector had thrown it out as nothing of importance. Nothing of importance? Nothing of _importance_! Even _Ghastly_ had been upset, and by then he'd _long_ realized the woman was passionately in love with the brain bear freak and faulted next to nothing he ever _did_, chalking it up to misunderstood! As if. Skarr remembered all too well that _she_ had been the first one to rush and help him, not Hector. _She_ had been the first to hear him scream in agony, the first to hear and observe his fear when he'd realized he'd lost something greater than he'd ever thought he _would_. And the severity of the scar down his chest combined with the eye…The poor woman had screamed in sheer horror and panic on seeing the damage! She hadn't been able to save it. It wasn't her fault. It was too late the instant it had happened. Nonetheless, she'd been torn up with guilt while Hector wrote it off as just another casualty, and she'd had nothing to _do_ with it! After all of that… After all of that…

It wasn't long after what the General had done, after he'd lost something so valuable and so precious in an attempt to, against his own wishes _save_, the ungrateful jerk of a boss on the brain's own orders, that Skarr had come to hate him desperately enough to daydream of destroying him once and for all. He acted on it rarely, but it was a dream nonetheless. He had never been more glad to finally get out of there. Not that Endsville was any _better_. He marvelled at how he hadn't lost anything _else_. He had no intentions of returning to the army. They could offer him nothing. They were weak, and he was _through_ with army life. Too much trouble.


	3. Present Day

Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

_**Present Day**_

Skarr sat in his chair sipping tea and gazing at the fireplace, a content smile on his face. Ever since his bout with Underfist, he had just wanted to settle down quietly and enjoy his retirement. Then the domino effect had been put into play, and he'd found himself sucked into another power struggle melee. However, that was all said and done. Right now _nothing_ could get him out of this chair. He frowned at a picture above the fire. Evil Con Carne; he, Hector, Boskov, Stomach, and Ghastly. Once again the dream he'd had last night returned in vivid detail, and he raised an eyebrow. He wondered how they were doing, now that Mandy owned Bunny Island, they'd been bought out, and since their latest failure of an attack on Endsville. He wondered what evil scheme, if any, Hector had concocted once again…

No, stop it General. You're retired. No use looking back on that life. Live in the present. Still, he _did_ miss the old place, his old room, his pigeons… No, enough! This would _not_ be a repeat of his first arrival here. Besides, his house was perfect. His garden was the best on the block. Granted, his neighbours left something to be desired, but still. He liked Endsville, enough. Besides, now he knew there were at least three others out there like him. An icy dangerous smirk crossed his face for a moment.

He sighed in contentment and went to take another sip of his tea shrugging off the dream and thoughts of his old life, when just then the all too annoyingly familiar voice of a certain neighbour brat of his exclaimed, "Hi Mr. Skarr!"

GAoBaM

Skarr spat out the tea in horror and coughed, choking. Gathering himself he looked beside him, and instantly his eyes hardened murderously. "Billy," he greeted the boy who was crouching next to his chair.

"Whatcha doin'?" Billy questioned, standing up.

"None of your business!" Skarr bit. All at once all his reasons for hating Endsville were coming back in full force.

"Aw, come on," Billy whined.

"If you _must_ know, I'm drinking tea and listening to music," Skarr retorted, annoyed. "Now leave."

"Okay, but I've gotta tell ya, your rose bushes are getting a little wild," Billy remarked.

"My… how would _you_ know?" Skarr demanded, anger in his eyes.

"Well how _else_ would I know? I had to use them," Billy replied.

"You _what_!" Skarr veritably shrieked.

"I have the scratches to prove it. Wanna see?" Billy asked.

"You little fiend!" Skarr exclaimed, leaping up and seizing his rapier from an umbrella chute. Billy gasped in fear and stared at the rapier. "Get out of my house, get off of my property, and if you come within a hundred feet of my yard again, so help me I'll chop you into itty bitty pieces and use you as fertilizer!"

"Gee, ya don't have to get so touchy. You've used _that_ threat before," Billy said. He turned, adding, "Oh well, I guess all old people are cranky and lame."

"Cranky, lame, old!" Skarr yelled after him, but Billy had left. "I am _not_ old!" Skarr insisted, drawing out the magical transporting mirror he'd once taken from Grim's trunk. He glanced at himself in it.

GAoBaM

Skarr was humming and watering his flowers happily. Just then, though, a voice said, "Hey Mr. Skarr."

Skarr tensed up, eyes widening, then frowned, looking behind him. "Harold, what brings _you_ here?" he questioned.

"What else? Your shrubs are still the best on the block," Harold replied, rolling up a newspaper. "You might not want to go near them, though."

Skarr looked aghast. Soon he twitched. Finally he scowled, hissing in the calmest tone he could, though his voice shook with anger and hatred, "Get-out."

"Sure thing old timer," Harold replied, slapping him on his back.

"Old! I'm hardly older than _you_! If anything, mere _months_ separate us!" Skarr defended adamantly.

"Whatever you say gramps," Harold replied, waving as he headed off. Oh gods, they all had it in for him since the Undertaker incident.

GAoBaM

Old? Sure, he'd claimed sixty to Underfist, but that was _hyperbole_. He had been thinking about before he was born, and the age he suspected he'd get to, if he were lucky. Oh immortals, why couldn't Harold have just died during the last power melee? Skarr clenched his fists and teeth, saying, "I swear to the gods, if anyone else enters my garden…"

Just then a voice said, "S'up yo?"

Skarr whirled, yelling, "What do you want Irwin!" Unfortunately another survivor of the battle. Just then he noticed that Irwin held a bouquet of flowers in his hands, and behind the boy half his flora was uprooted.

Irwin, at first taken aback at Skarr's reaction, soon nervously said, almost too quickly for the man to hear, "Whoa, I'm sorry, yo, but I really needed these. See, I wanna impress Mandy with a bouquet. Maybe then she'll like me."

Skarr hardly heard him, staring instead at his ravaged flowerbeds. Finally, he slowly and deliberately said, "Get this through your head, little boy, Mandy will never love you. She'll never even _like_ you. You are a thorn in her side, a bane to her existence, and you might as well give up now before you learn the hard way. You'd be better off going for _Mindy_." He could tell from the way Irwin's face crumbled, and the boy's eyes started to water, that every word had cut like a knife. Good. He meant it too. All at once, though, the boy burst into tears and ran off. For a moment he felt a pang of guilt, eyes reflecting pity. They'd been teammates and 'friends' after all. He'd even _liked_ the boy, depending on the circumstances, but quickly he forced it away.

GAoBaM

He gazed at his flowers, then his house. Just then the roof was blown off! Skarr was hardly fazed. He'd expected as much. Sure enough, soon Grim called, "Sorry 'bout dat Skarr! Billy, Mandy and I were tryin' out some fireworks!"

Fireworks his foot. The reaper had it in for him since their last confrontation. Anything he'd done was on purpose. He marvelled at how he wasn't _dead_ yet. Skarr could say nothing. He simply fell to his knees, stunned silent. All at once he burst into tears, crying, "Why me! It's not fair!" He began to sob.

Why was he cursed? What had he done? He didn't even have Lord Pain, Jack, or Boogey to confide in anymore either. They were all who _knew_ where! Being back on Bunny _Island_ would be preferable to this! He almost wished he _was_ there! No, not almost, he _did_ wish he was there! He missed his pigeons, his old room, the predictability of Major Doctor Ghastly and Hector Con Carne. Scheme, fail, scheme, fail, at least it was _something_ of a routine! He missed his old _life_! If he could just go back to the way things once were for a little while, _just_ a little while. He wouldn't stay that way. He just needed a dose of world domination once more.

All at once he stopped and leapt up, saying, "That's it. I can't take it anymore! I need a vacation! Why _can't_ I do something about this?" Instantly a plan leapt to mind. He raced back into his house, then seconds later emerged, clothed in his old uniform. He sheathed his sword, then walked casually towards Mandy's house as if he were just taking a little walk.

GAoBaM

Skarr paused at Mandy's fence, having spotted the girl. She must have come back to get more weapons of destruction. Probably to blow up the _rest_ of his house. He paused and leaned on the fence, calling, "Well good day Mandy. How are you today?"

Mandy looked at him, slightly surprised, then her expression fell into its regular perma-frown. She walked to the fence, asking, "Cut the crap, what do you want?"

"Want? Why, Mandy, I'm hurt. I want absolutely nothing. How's life. Anything new? How's good old Bunny Island? Honestly, I thought no one would _ever_ buy it. Thank goodness it's gone," he answered. He couldn't let her know he wanted it. If she sensed he wanted it, she would hold it tantalizingly over his head, and _he'd_ get _nowhere_.

She answered simply, "I sold it."

"You _what_!" he exclaimed, shocked. "To _whom_?"

"To its old owner for a few billion dollars," she casually added, shrugging. "I paid ten-thousand. He told me he was a multi-billionaire and to name my price. He wanted it back. I figured it was a good enough deal. The deed was just cluttering up my room anyway." Skarr blinked. Clever, Hector. Once in a while Con Carne _would_ come up with _something_ good. General Skarr knew perfectly well that saying he was a multi-billionaire was understatement of the millennia. He had jillions. He'd certainly gained it _back_ quickly enough after bankruptcy. He marvelled at how the man could keep that little tidbit hidden from Mandy, of all people.

"Oh, well, good for you," Skarr muttered, stunned. "Ta ta little… thing. I must carry on." With that, Skarr hurried off. Mandy shrugged then went over to Billy's. At least he wasn't after their lives anymore. Apparently the breakup of the Undertakers had been messy.

GAoBaM

General Skarr couldn't believe his luck. He sat in his chair still stunned. Evil Con Carne owned Bunny Island once more. It was theirs again. Finally he sat up straight. Well, he was looking for a vacation. He was pining for one more dose of his old life. Why not? It would just be for a _little_ while. Soon he was smirking evilly. Yes, this would be a welcome relief. Look out Evil Con Carne, Skarr's back! He pulled out the mirror, grinning evilly.


	4. Skarr's Arrival

Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

(A/N: Second up today.)

Skarr's Arrival

Skarr appeared on the island in less than a second. He looked around beaming, then replaced the mirror. "I'm back!" he exclaimed to the skies. With that, he raced towards the Bunny shaped rock laughing. He saw his pigeons looking up from the branches then cooing, flying towards him. He forced himself to stop, welcoming his little friends. Slowly he wandered on, saying, "Oh my baby's, did you miss daddy? Daddy missed you, yes he did." Seeing the courtyard coming up, he began to march, determined to appear dignified.

GAoBaM

Meanwhile… "Ghastly, I've finally come up with a fool proof plan!" Hector exclaimed.

Ghastly, gazing out the window with a bored expression, vaguely looked back, asking, "What is it _this_ time chief?"

He replied, "It is a giant toaster! We shall attack the League of Nations with giant slices of toast and then take over!"

Ghastly sighed, replying, "Uh, great chief, one problem. Toast isn't lethal. If anything, we'll end up putting an end to world hunger."

Hector blinked. Boskov looked up at the brain on his head. All at once Hector made the bear kick away the machine, exclaiming, "Oh I give _up_! Why do I _bother_ anymore? I've lost my knack for evil! I know I have!"

"No, chief, no," Ghastly quickly soothed. She added comfortingly, "You just lost your most evil minion and paramilitary General. Sure, he never came up with a world domination plot on his own, but he motivated you to prove him wrong. _He_ thought you were an _idiot_. Without him, you haven't been able to focus. You'll adjust soon, though. Then you'll be back to your usual brilliant self."

Hector sighed, saying, "It's no use. It just isn't the same. I feel so incomplete. Without Skarr… It just doesn't _feel_ right!" He looked down sadly. Boskov whimpered.

Ghastly turned back to the window and rested a chin in her palm. She couldn't argue _that_. He was right. Without _Skarr_, they were incomplete. He was like the missing piece of a puzzle, the lost fourth wheel. It just didn't seem right. She couldn't believe she was admitting this, but she missed him. She actually _missed_ the cynical traitor. Finally, she was forced to admit to herself something she'd held back. She wished he were here right _now_. He would make _everything_ better. In a way, that is. At least Hector would be _normal_ again.

GAoBaM

All at once she caught sight of something. She instantly straightened up and blinked. She took off her goggles and rubbed them. Replacing them she looked again. Was she _seeing_ things? It _couldn't_ be. "Uh, chief," she said.

"What is it _now_ Ghastly?" Hector questioned, coming up next to her.

"Do you see what I see?" she asked, pointing at the courtyard where they used to gather for inspection. Oh how well she remembered it.

She would be dropped at the top of the platform, by means of her invention, to wait for her fellow underling and her boss. The General would march out amongst the common soldiers, dignified as ever, commanding respect from his troops. The men would all salute him. He never looked more regal than he did on those days, and she would watch as he mounted the stairway to stand next to her. A nod or a word to greet each other, then they'd face the main door. Hector would come out to check if everything was in order. Under Skarr's command, they usually were.

On those days, it would be hard to remember that he was the most unlucky and inefficient sap she knew. With exception to the rare unbelievable feat he pulled off, that is. Those incident's always reminded her just why they kept him around. The guy could shoot like nothing, and he could _definitely_ take a hit. His ruthlessness shamed even Hector's, and he fenced like he was born with a sword in his hand. His karate was pretty wicked too. She wondered how they had never missed him _before_, whenever he was left behind or separated from them, now that they'd been without him for so long.

Now, seeing the figure approaching, it was almost like watching him once more stride through the barracks, marching towards her and the platform to wait for Con Carne. Remembering their last encounter, she recalled that his house in that Endsville town was nice, and he'd seemed perfectly happy there, not inclined in the least to return. Why was he back then?

Hector squinted, then his eyes widened along with Boskov's. "It can't be…" he murmured.

"General Skarr," Stomach said in awe.

GAoBaM

Ghastly and Hector exchanged glances. All at once, Ghastly charged for the entrance, Boskov right behind. Her heart was pounding in anticipation. Their friend was back, and now Hector could go back to being the man she'd fallen in love with, all because Skarr decided to conveniently appear for no apparent reason! She loved him for it! _Hector_ would be back! She could _kiss_ the General, but then that would be counterproductive to her goal of winning Hector. Hector wasn't the jealous type, so it wouldn't work _that_ way _either_.

She burst out the door and paused. He was marching towards them, followed by his pigeons, smiling a rare smile. On hearing them come out, however, he stopped, startled, and the birds flew off. There was silence as the group gazed at each other. All at once Ghastly screamed happily, "General Skarr!" She veritably leapt from the stairs and ran to him, throwing her arms around him.

"Major Ghastly?" he exclaimed in shock, confused at the action and automatically holding her back.

"General, it's really you! You came back!" she excitedly said.

"General Skarr, it's a miracle! You have saved me from total failure!" Hector exclaimed as Boskov made excited sounds and ran at Skarr.

"Boskov, no!" Skarr exclaimed in horror. Ghastly gasped and moved away right before the bear nearly crushed the General in a bear hug. She cringed. "Can't-breathe," he gasped out.

"Boskov, release him!" Hector ordered. Boskov instantly obeyed, and painfully Skarr picked himself up from the ground. Oh yes, _now_ he remembered why he'd left this place. He hated that bear and that disembodied brain. As for Ghastly… Meh, it was a hate tolerate relationship.

"How long are you staying General?" Stomach questioned.

Skarr replied, annoyed, "As long as I need to. I'll tell you about it over dinner. I'm starved. I admit I've missed the mess hall. Oh, by the way, I'm cooking tonight!" He laughed and walked inside, the other two looking blankly after him. Cooking? Since when did _he_ cook?

GAoBaM

They stared at the man in disbelief. Skarr was whistling and stirring batter around in a bowl. "Real corn makes cornbread special," he paused long enough to inform.

"Uh, right," Hector awkwardly agreed.

"Since when can you _cook_?" Ghastly asked.

"Since always," he answered. Taking out the spoons, he chimed, "Who wants to lick the spoons?" Boskov roared an agreement and ran for it, snatching one. Skarr blinked, then shrugged. Handing the other to Ghastly with a bow, he said, "Major Doctor, for you."

She took it, confused, saying, "Uh, thanks." She tasted it, and her eyes widened. "Hey, this is good!" she exclaimed.

"That's nothing. Wait until you taste my chicken cordon bleu," Skarr answered with a wink at the other two, checking the oven.

Soon enough, Skarr finished laying out the food and sat with them. "So Skarr, why did you come _back_?" Hector questioned.

Skarr answered, "I needed a vacation."

"Why?" Hector asked.

Skarr replied, "Remember my neighbours who foiled your plot?"

"Oh yes, the annoying children and skeleton man who foiled my plan by turning you on me," Hector grumbled. "What _of_ them?"

"Yes, Billy, Mandy, and the Grim Reaper," Skarr growled.

"Wait, that was really the Grim Reaper!" Ghastly exclaimed, shocked, horrified, and awed all at once. The others looked blankly at her, and she shrugged sheepishly, saying, "I'm a scientist, I didn't buy it. Immortals? I mean, come on."

"Neither did _I_, but things change. Well, as I was saying, they finally pushed me over the edge. Billy and his father use my roses and shrubs as their own personal levorotary, Irwin uprooted my flower beds, and Mandy and Grim blew up my house," Skarr narrated, growing angrier with each word. Calming down, he added, "On another note, just wait until you hear what _I've_ been through." With that, Skarr told them everything that had happened to him, from his retirement in Endsville to the Underfist incidents. He touched on the more recent events, but didn't go into great detail. Perhaps most was best left unsaid. It was a touchy affair.

GAoBaM

Hector and Ghastly stared at him in shock as he finished. He was satisfied with his narrative. They blinked as he sat reminiscing. Finally Hector asked, "So, you didn't keep the facial hair?"

Skarr blinked at him, then frowned, answering, "It was a faze. I must admit, though, I pulled it off quite well."

"So, you were nearly reaped by Death but managed to escape at the last minute thanks to your neighbours who you hate. Later you nearly get killed by evil candy creatures under an evil marshmallow bunny's control, then you go through a series of unfortunate events nearly resulting in your death multiple times?" Ghastly questioned, still shocked.

"Why not? I've cheated death enough times with _you_ two. What was a couple more tries?" Skarr asked.

"So, you're only here for a vacation then," Hector remarked.

"I've said as much," Skarr replied, getting annoyed.

"Oh, well, good, I guess. We'd better start planning then," Hector finally said. He couldn't believe all he'd heard from General Skarr. The man was more talented than he'd given him _credit_ for. He knew full well that Skarr had repeatedly tried to destroy him, and after hearing _this_, he determined that he was the luckiest son of a gun alive if he was able to avoid Skarr's attempts on his life. Then again, good luck versus bad luck usually ended in the former winning out. He just hoped Skarr wouldn't sink back into his old ways if he were only here for a vacation. By now, the General probably had more experience than either Ghastly _or_ him.

"Not so fast, Hector. I have questions of my own," Skarr said.

"Shoot," Ghastly replied.

"Don't say that!" Stomach exclaimed. "He might just do it!" Skarr smirked at the thought, daydreaming of how he would overthrow Con Carne, just as he had in the good old days. Of course, he was retired now. Quickly he batted the thought away.

"How's Cod Commando and SPORK?" Skarr asked.

"Cod Commando is still after us, as always, but we haven't really come up with any plans worth SPORK's time, so we haven't seen him in a while," Ghastly admitted.

"What about Estroy and our other villain 'friends?'" Skarr questioned.

"Estroy is _not_ my friend!" Hector shot. "He keeps stealing my plans!"

"Easy chief, he never uses them. They're not worth _his_ time _either_," Ghastly said.

"Losing your touch, Con Carne?" Skarr taunted with a cruel smirk.

"No! I just, haven't been able to focus since you left," Hector admitted, embarrassed.

Skarr looked to Ghastly for clarification. Ghastly explained, "Remember how you always insulted him, always disdained him? Well, that just motivated him to prove you wrong by doing better. When you left, he lost that motivation."

"I'm flattered, I think," Skarr remarked, looking, of course condescendingly, at Hector.

"Never mind my motivation! The point is I'm finally feeling my genius return! Before the end of the week I'll have come up with something!" Hector stated.

GAoBaM

"Estroy's still after me to join him, and to marry him," Ghastly said disgustedly.

"Not surprising," Skarr remarked.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" she bit.

He frowned, saying, "It's Estroy. You know as well as I that he won't give up unless something drastic is done. You're a very attractive woman, Doctor Ghastly. Anyone with an eye to see would understand that."

"He's right you know," Hector agreed.

"You think so chief? You think I'm attractive?" Ghastly questioned, blushing and grinning girlishly.

"Of course. Even _Boskov_ can see that. I'm not _blind_, Doctor. That stone _Idol_ could see it. Heck, even an _ape_ could," Hector retorted. "Ooh, I just had a brain storm! Excuse me. I have to write this down! General Skarr, Major Doctor Ghastly, tomorrow, in the lab. Goodnight! Oh, and Skarr, your room is the same as always." With that Hector bolted from the mess hall, leaving behind an upset Doctor Ghastly and a taken aback Skarr.

Ghastly frowned after him coldly. Why couldn't he catch a single hint? He _couldn't_ be that _clueless_. He was _brilliant_. Skarr smirked at her expression and rolled his eye, murmuring, "Easy Major Ghastly, beauty means nothing to an evil eye. I know that intimately." Oh how he knew. She frowned at him, but let it slide.


	5. Operation Win Hector, Get Rid Of Estroy

Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

(A/N: Third up today. Ghastly's getting desperate to win Hector, Estroy is still obsessed with her. What's a girl to do? With a slip of the tongue, the decisions made for her. Even with Skarr's help, though, will she be able to both win over Hector _and_ get rid of Estroy? Well, as long as screw ups like these don't keep happening it's possible, right?)

Operation Win Hector, Get Rid Of Estroy

"Hector's not evil, just misunderstood," Ghastly stated as she and Skarr walked through the base towards their rooms.

"Get married to him then. At least _Estroy_ will back off a little. That metal head promises to be annoying if something isn't done," Skarr replied. "I don't want my vacation ruined by that pest, Doctor."

She blushed, admitting, "I _can't_ marry Hector. Not yet."

"At the rate _he_ catches on, you never _will_," Skarr cynically stated.

She pulled her hair and screamed, infuriated, then demanded, "What do I have to do to get _through_ to him!"

Skarr, who had pulled back surprised at the outburst, relaxed once more, smirking coldly. With his regular wry humor, he answered her, acting out the part, "Ah Major, to get that idiot's attention, you'd have to march right up to him, seize his arms, shake him, and scream in his face, 'I love you, you moron. How could you not get that? I've dropped hint after hint after hint, I've endured envy, rejection, belittlement, all the crap you put me through, and somehow you still miss the fact that I'm so ridiculously in love with you I'd crawl on my stomach like a reptile to _have_ you. Marry me you fool, _marry_ me!'"

"Skarr!" a voice exclaimed. Skarr gasped and turned his head, still holding Ghastly's arms, and Ghastly looked up in horror.

"Hector!" she exclaimed.

He looked angry. He'd overheard Skarr's insult, he _must_ have, the two minions panicked. All at once, though, his anger fell to the regular look. "You sly dog, Skarr, I never knew you felt so strongly for the Major Doctor! No _wonder_ you came back," Hector said, nudging Skarr.

"What? No!" Skarr exclaimed. "This isn't what it looks, or sounds, like!" Skarr insisted, dropping Ghastly's arms and turning around.

"It's, uh, a play, yeah. Endsville's town play. Skarr's the main part! He was just practicing!" Ghastly quickly covered. "I was helping!"

"Of course he is, nudge, nudge," Hector said, nudging Skarr again and making the General hold his arm in pain. Boskov began singing 'Here Comes The Bride,' and the two walked away laughing, Stomach joining in.

GAoBaM

"Skarr!" Ghastly screamed furiously.

"I told you what to do, now do it," Skarr stated quickly, backing away.

"I can't _now_! He thinks you love me! You're gonna help me fix this, or so help me I'll give the Reaper _another_ reason to come after you!" she yelled.

"Keep your shirt on Major Doctor, I'll help," Skarr quickly promised, desperate to pacify the woman as she advanced on him like a predator ready to kill.

She relaxed, and in her normal sweet tone said proudly, "Good." She frowned then, though, asking, "Wait, how did _you_ know I had a crush on Hector if even _he_ didn't?"

"Oh please. Could you _be_ more obvious woman? I'm not _that_ stupid, Ghastly. Hector's an imbecile when it comes to things like this," Skarr replied as if it were obvious.

"Too much, huh?" she questioned, blushing.

"In his case, too little," Skarr assured, walking to the door of his room and waving at her.

"Okay, but keep in mind you're helping me get him," Ghastly warned.

"How could I _forget_?" Skarr bitterly asked. "I'd _kill_ for a woman to show me as much affection as you do to him. Every time you drop a hint it infuriates me that he can take it willy nilly without a comment. I doubt he even _knows_ it. I'll admit, I'm _jealous_ of you two."

She smiled, saying, "I've missed your cynicism around here."

"Of course you would. It's _always_ fun to watch someone _else_ get hurt, complain about life, all that," Skarr retorted. "Goodnight Ghastly. Tomorrow we can come up with a plan to win him over." With that, he slammed the door. She squealed in excitement. With Skarr's help, maybe, just maybe, she could finally get Hector Con Carne's love!

GAoBaM

Evil Con Carne stood in the lab. Hector then said, "I have come up with a brilliant plan for world domination." He opened a notebook, saying, "Behold!"

Ghastly and Skarr looked blankly at it. After a moment they looked up. Ghastly, forcing a grin, complimented, "Oh, great chief. You're quite the artist." As if. She had no clue what it was.

"Thank you," Hector proudly said.

"Artist? Hah. This is chicken scratch. What _is_ it?" Skarr questioned.

"Maybe you would like to spend time in the dungeon, General?" Hector warned testily, insulted at Skarr's putdown. Skarr grinned innocently, shrugging. "For your information, it's the diagram of a death laser I plan to have Ghastly build for me, once the plans are complete, that is. Observe. We build it, then we lure SPORK here to stop us. When they come, we destroy them, then we move onto bigger fish."

"How will _this_ laser destroy them when no laser we've used before has ever worked?" General Skarr asked.

"Because this laser is special," Hector hinted.

"How so Hector?" Ghastly questioned.

"Ah, that is _my_ secret. When the plans are complete, I'll tell you all about it," Hector answered. He looked to Skarr and frowned. The General was looking around everywhere for something. "Skarr, what are you doing?" Hector demanded.

Skarr snapped back to attention, then admitted, "I'm not sure, sir, but I feel like we're being watched."

"By who? SPORK's given up on us, and Estroy hardly ever spies anymore. The last time was like two weeks ago," Ghastly remarked.

"Yes. What are the chances that the day I come up with a brilliant plan, is the day he's watching us?" Hector said in a carefree tone. Hector and Ghastly laughed. Skarr looked around once more, but then shrugged it off, laughing as well.

GAoBaM

"So, boys, General Skarr's back. Finally. I wonder when he reappeared, and why. About _time_ Hector started getting his motivation back. Thank goodness I decided to give them one last chance to impress me," Estroy remarked, turning to his two sons.

"Does that mean we're going for a visit?" one questioned.

"But of course. It's about time I paid my beloved Ghastly a call," Estroy said.

"I don't know dad, what if she's married? It's been a while after all," the other boy said.

"In two weeks? Unlikely. Con Carne wouldn't catch on _that_ quickly," Estroy stated. "Come on boys, we're off to see Bunny Island. And, of course, examine Con Carne's latest plans." With that, he climbed from his chair and headed out. The boys exchanged glances, then followed.

GAoBaM

"So, what's our plan for winning over Hector?" Ghastly questioned, as she and Skarr walked through the hideout.

"He's _your_ goal, not _mine_," Skarr retorted.

"Okay. I like your suggestion, but we need to convince him that we're not in love first," Ghastly remarked.

"Easy as pie," Skarr replied.

"What!" she shot, insulted.

"You heard me!" he barked back.

"All right hot shot, what do we do?" Ghastly challenged.

Skarr blinked, then thought a moment. Soon he answered, "Let's stick to the play ruse. We can come up with a fake script and show it to him. Then maybe he'll believe us."

"If he decides to watch the play?" Ghastly asked.

"We tell him it was cancelled," Skarr replied.

Ghastly sighed, face palming as she shook her head, then looked up, saying, "I guess it's the only way."

"Oh good, because I came up with this last night," Skarr giddily stated, handing her a manuscript.

She blinked at it then skimmed it over. Soon she looked up, saying, "This is good. You came _up_ with it? You're really throwing yourself into your plots. If only you'd done as much when you weren't _retired_."

"Hey!" he shot, proud smile falling to anger.

GAoBaM

Just then a voice cut in, saying, "Why Major Doctor Ghastly. A pleasure to see you again."

Ghastly gasped and whirled, along with Skarr. "Estroy!" Ghastly exclaimed.

Skarr's surprise fell to his usual brooding look, and coldly he greeted, "Estroy."

"Skarr. What's the matter? Couldn't even handle _retirement_?" Estroy retorted.

"Metal head," Skar grumbled.

"Baldy," Estroy retorted.

"What are you doing here?" Ghastly demanded, cutting in.

Estroy blinked at her, then replied, "Why, visiting of course."

"I _knew_ we were being watched! I _told_ you!" Skarr shot, pointing accusingly at Ghastly.

"All right already, you were right," Ghastly heatedly replied.

Turning to Estroy again, Skarr accused, "You came for a sneak preview of Hector's latest plans, _didn't_ you?"

"Latest plans? Skarr, I'm hurt you'd accuse me of such a thing. I'm _over_ his second rate inventions. No, I'm here for the hand of the lovely Ghastly," Estroy replied, taking her hand and kissing it. She looked appalled. Skarr blinked blankly, then frowned. He kept kissing it until Ghastly put an impatient hand on her hip. Skarr checked his watch. A minute. Soon enough she looked desperately over at the General. He shrugged. Her romantic life wasn't his problem.

Estroy finally moved and began kissing up her arm. She scowled, ready to deck him, but Skarr put up a hand, telling her off. "Allow me," he declared. He suddenly shoved Estroy back and pulled Ghastly away, saying, "That's enough Estroy! She's taken!"

Estroy blinked at him in surprise, then asked, "By Hector? Oh please Skarr. You expect me to believe that disembodied brain would finally catch on to her advances? What kind of fool do you take me for?" Estroy laughed, along with his boys, and Skarr and Ghastly exchanged helpless glances. He had them there. Finally ceasing to laugh, Estroy looked to Ghastly, saying, "Now that I've finally seen you again after so long, my dear, expect me here far more often."

_That_ was when Skarr stiffened up, and his eye began to twitch. He scowled, feeling his blood boil. There was no _way_ Estroy would ruin this vacation more than it already _would_ be by Hector, Boskov, and Ghastly! Angrily he yelled, "I said she's taken! I _didn't_ say by Hector!"

GAoBaM

Estroy fell instantly silent and looked at the two. Ghastly looked equally shocked, then looked to Skarr for clarification, whispering, "Uh, Skarr, who else would I be taken by?" Skarr tensed up, just realizing the predicament he'd gotten into. She was right. Who else _would_ she be taken by?

"Really," Estroy said, sarcasm dripping from the word. "Who, might I ask, is _that_?"

Skarr began to sweat, saying, "Well, uh, erm, he's, um…" He trailed off, seeing Estroy's smug smirk coming back. His eyes hardened, and he shot, "By me! She's taken by me, alright! Happy now!"

Estroy, his minions, and Ghastly's mouths all fell open, nearly dropping to the ground. Oh boy, he'd have to do some fast thinking to get out of this. "She's _what_!" Estroy's two sons demanded.

All at once his brilliant-hah, hah- mind, came up with the solution. He became bold, declaring, "That's right. You see, Estroy, the time came for us to do something drastic about you. Since Hector was clueless, what could _he_ do to remedy it? So we figured, why not? If it'll get rid of _you_, or at least slow you down, it'll be worth it. So we got married, tied the knot."

"Impossible!" Estroy yelled.

Skarr cut him off, though, saying, "You see, my little friend, _you_ don't have her _heart_. You'll _never_ have her heart. Neither will I. It will always belong to Hector. However, Hector doesn't know that, and both she and I were _through_ with your stalking. We knew you wouldn't stop as long as she was unattached."

Catching on, Ghastly continued, "Oh, y-yeah, yeah. I couldn't suggest it to Hector, and even if I did, with _my_ luck he wouldn't even _get_ it. I told Skarr, and he suggested _this_. Whatever it is."

Putting an arm around Estroy, Skarr said in mock sympathy, "I know it's hard to understand, but we've lost out on her love. Only you, however, have lost out on _her_." Defiant tone returning, he went on, "She loves Hector, she's married to me, and you're just the desperate little man who wants her but can't have her, no matter what you do. I know you're not one to exert a lot of energy trying to win a battle you know you'll lose. This way it's sealed. If Hector ever falls in love with her and wants to marry her, we can divorce. If he doesn't, she still stays close to him. Even if Hector dies, she'll still be with _me_, and she'd prefer me to you _any day_, because that's just how annoying she finds you. Besides, she'd still have the opportunity to love someone else again. If that happens, we divorce. So there! See the plans, for all I care. Then you can leave and never come back!"

GAoBaM

"Nice," Ghastly whispered.

"Thank you," Skarr proudly said, surprising even _himself_ with the spontaneous plan. Maybe Jack's tips _had_ rubbed off on him.

Estroy, though, finally frowned coldly. He asked in a menacing tone, "Oh yeah? And what if _you_ suddenly die?" He drew a large laser and pointed it at the General. Skarr stiffened and blinked. He could find nothing to say.

"Oh, I walked right into _that_ one," Skarr finally remarked.

As the laser was charging, Ghastly swiftly stepped in front of Estroy, saying, "That's enough Estroy! Break it up! Whether you kill him or not doesn't matter. See, Skarr made Hector promise that if he ever died, Hector would marry me. He said it jokingly, of course, but Hector signed the contract. Now he's bound to it."

"A modern woman like you allowing herself to be passed around like that?" Estroy demanded, instantly suspicious.

"Better to get the man I love and have him be forced to marry me than go to _you_ again," Ghastly retorted, putting her arm around Skarr. Skarr blinked blankly, looked at her worriedly, then forced a nervous grin, focusing on Estroy. He hated contact. Nonetheless, he returned the gesture.

"Take off your left gloves," Estroy suspiciously demanded. The two looked curiously at each other, but obeyed. Estroy instantly went to look at their hands. Immediately they realized that they'd walked right into _that_ one _too_. "I don't see a ring," Estroy said, playing the last card. Skarr and Ghastly straightened up and looked at each other.

Looking back, Ghastly grinned nervously, saying, "It's, uh, being refitted."

"I suppose his is too?" Estroy asked, pointing at Skarr's own hand.

Skarr blinked at it. All of a sudden he pulled off his right glove and removed a pair of rings there, saying, "Oh why hide it Ghastly? It's no big secret anymore. Here, my mother's ring." He handed her one, and placed the other on his left ring finger.

"Oh, I couldn't," Ghastly gasped, taking it and placing it on her finger.

"Of course you can," Skarr grumbled, admiring the second one. "Ah, father's ring. The old man had good taste."

Estroy growled. Finally, though, he said, "Fine, be that way. I'll just look at his plans and be on my way then."

"You know the way to the lab," Ghastly stated.

Estroy harrumphed and walked off, calling, "Don't think this is over yet, Ghastly. I still don't believe you two!"

GAoBaM

As he disappeared, Skarr said, "Good riddance. Now give me back mummy's ring."

"Yeah, yeah, hold your horses," Ghastly said, pulling it. It didn't move. She frowned. "Uh, Skarr, little help."

"Oh for Pete's sake," Skarr grumbled, taking the ring.

He was just about to pull, when a voice said, shocked, "Skarr, Ghastly, why didn't you _tell_ me?"

They looked up, confused, then looked at their position again. They gasped. It looked like Skarr had just put the ring on her finger! They pulled away. Quickly Ghastly said, "Chief, no, it's not what you think!"

"When's the wedding?" Hector questioned, bitterness obvious in his tone as he looked icily at his general.

"Sir, I swear, there _is_ no wedding!" Skarr exclaimed. He stopped suddenly, though. Was that slight distaste he saw in the brain's eyes? He glanced at Ghastly. She was pale. She'd found it as well. Well, this just got better and better. He frowned, annoyed.

GAoBaM

"I'll pay for the wedding of course, Ghastly, if this is what you want," Hector stated, looking to her with confusion in his eyes.

"Oh great Scott, it's just the _play_!" Skarr yelled, throwing the manuscript at Hector.

"Play?" Hector asked, looking at the manuscript and looking it over. "You were _serious_?"

"Yes!" Skarr exclaimed. Ghastly sighed in relief.

As Hector skimmed it, they watched him visibly relax. Ghastly and Skarr grinned at each other, giving a thumbs up. "Phase one complete without even being developed," Ghastly whispered.

"Of course. Never doubt me my dear Ghastly," Skarr replied boastfully.

"This play, it's so beautiful," Hector remarked, sniffing. Boskov began to cry.

"It is, isn't it?" Skarr replied, smirking with pride. Growing serious once more, though, he added, "Oh, incidentally, sir, Estroy is in the lab looking over your plans."

"What! How dare he!" Hector exclaimed, racing off.

"Thanks Skarr, for all of this. I owe you big," Ghastly said.

"I plan on using that to my advantage," Skarr replied, looking at his watch again. "Come on. We have work to do."


	6. Will This Work?

Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

(A/N: They have plans A and B, everything seems to be going well, everything's in order. Who could possibly screw it up, right? Right?)

Will This Work?

She watched as he constructed a strange machine, hammering and screwing in nails and such. Ghastly helped him build, fixing the screw ups he made, which were many, and handing him things. "Um, how, exactly, will this help Hector fall in love with me?" she asked.

He looked at her confused, then at the machine. "Oh this? No, this isn't to help you win Hector. This is to help hold up the heavy materials you have a tendency to leave lying around, or precariously balanced over people's heads. Namely, mine," he answered.

She blinked, then face palmed, saying, "That's great and all, but what about _me_?"

Skarr leapt from the machine, landing in front of her, then replied, "Ah yes, the plan for you and Hector. I've got nothing. You?"

She sighed in exasperation, then replied, "Fortunately, yes. You've heard the stories about Cupid, or Eros, love at first sight and all that. This plan requires the invention of a love potion. Once I've developed it, we dip some arrows in the potion, and while I'm talking to Hector, you sneak up from behind and shoot him!"

"I see," Skarr remarked. "The Cupid Effect. He'll fall passionately in love with you, and you'll live happily ever after. Meanwhile, I can enjoy my peace and quiet and freedom as a bachelor and laugh at Hector's misfortune."

"Misfortune? Hey! _You_ were looking for love once _too_!" she shot.

"Oh please, you think after _that_ incident I'd be so inclined towards love _again_?" he questioned.

"I'm not sure this plan is fool proof though, Skarr," Ghastly uncertainly remarked, ignoring his last question.

"Of course it is!" he shot.

"Yeah, sure," she replied with a roll of her eyes. Somehow she doubted it. However, she _didn't_ doubt his shooting. Something else would have to throw it off, but it wouldn't be the General.

BGaE

Ghastly intensely worked over the boiling cauldron. "Let's see, tomatoes, oysters, lotus blossoms, exotic flowers and scents, a little of this, a little of that, and… Presto!" she exclaimed, as the cauldron poofed up smoke in the shape of a pink heart. She laughed madly, then scooped some into a vial.

"Major, are you done yet?" Skarr questioned, coming inside.

She looked to him, answering, "It's alive!" He jumped, startled. Quickly she recovered, saying with an embarrassed blush, "I mean, yeah, here it is General." She handed it over, grinning. Getting serious once more, she continued, "But it hasn't been tested yet."

"Forget the testing. I have full confidence in your abilities. That, and I don't want to be bothered with such petty details," he remarked.

"You think the test run is petty?" she questioned angrily.

"What subjects would you use anyway?" Skarr demanded.

"W-well," she said, looking around for something, anything. The only ones around were she and Skarr, and that could get really awkward really fast.

"Exactly," he said, holding it away. Just then he sniffed the scent and leaned in towards it, saying, "My gosh. That smell. It's so, so, exotic, romantic, beautiful. Why, I just want to take a sip. Ghastly, has anyone ever told you that you have the most _beautiful_ eyes my darling?"

She snatched it away, shooting, "Are you crazy? One drop of this and you'll fall in love with the first living thing you see! The scent is nice, though, isn't it?" She sniffed, the scent getting to her, and asked, blushing girlishly, "Wait, you think I have beautiful eyes sir?"

"Overkill much Doctor?" Skarr questioned, back to normal and pulling it a little ways away from her to snap her back to herself.

Ghastly shook her head, shaking off the effects. "Now's not the time for halfway measures!" Ghastly shot, raising it quickly. A drop spilled out, though, and fell on top of a small insect. The two looked down at it blankly. All at once a heart popped out over its body, and it began to make excited sounds. Skarr stiffened. It was looking at _him_! It leapt at his face, and Skarr screamed like a little girl, backing away in alarm and trying to bat it off. Ghastly cringed. This was just disturbing. "General Skarr, stop drop and roll!" she shouted, unsure how that would work, but trying to help. They hadn't trained for the attack of a love struck bug!

Finally Skarr scrambled away, diving for bug spray. He instantly squirted the creature, and it coughed in pain. Heart racing, he rose. Ghastly ran over, and the two watched the insect. It stood on its back legs, dancing around as it was dying. All at once they distinctively heard it say to Skarr, "Alas, what treachery is this? A lover's betrayal? Oh my beloved. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Farewell, sweet warrior, I shall always love you." With that, it died. The two blinked blankly down at it, then grinned evilly at each other. Oh, this would work.

BGaE

Hector looked curiously at Ghastly, asking, "All right Ghastly, why did you call me down here?" Just then he noticed the machine Skarr and she had built. It held up a ton of bricks off the floor. "Oh, finally you got something to keep your toys off the floor," Hector remarked.

She frowned, then grinned, saying, "Oh, that's not the reason chief. I just wanted to ask how your plans are coming along. I'd like to start work on them ASAP."

"Oh? Well, just fine Ghastly. They're almost done. On top of that, in case it doesn't work, I have a backup plan," Hector said, getting excited.

"Oh, what's that?" she questioned, looking behind. She saw Skarr tiptoeing up behind Hector with the arrows they'd dipped in the potion, holding a bow. He stood beneath the bricks that hung in the air, using the shadow as a cover and vantage point. She smirked.

"We all know the League of Destruction failed completely. However, who's to say a partnership will? I plan on calling on the help of one other fellow villain in a team-up. We will plot together as equals, and we will come up with a foolproof plan! When we finally rule the world, well, you get the rest," Hector narrated. "My first choice is Cataclysma. We get along the best, you see. However, seeing her hatred for Skarr, I'll call on her last."

"Cataclysma? Why _her_?" Ghastly demanded, eyes narrowing.

"Because she is so powerful, and so clever, and so…" Hector replied, or began.

"Oh really?" Ghastly icily asked, cutting him off. "And I'm _not_?"

"What are you talking about Major Doctor?" Hector asked. Ghastly gave the signal to Skarr.

Skarr snickered villainously then took aim. He fired confidently, but all of a sudden, Boskov smelled the potion and turned excitedly. The arrow struck Stomach's container and rebounded. Skarr cried out in alarm, ducking just in time. The arrow, however, ricocheted off of the metal walls and headed straight for the rope holding up the bricks! Skarr's pupils dilated, and he said, "Oh mummy." The rope snapped.

Ghastly cringed as the bricks fell on the General, crushing him. She and Hector raced up to the mess, and she blinked down at him, teeth clenched. "Skarr, what are you doing here? Get up and start calling our fellow villains like I ordered," he commanded.

"Yes sir," Skarr said painfully, crawling out from under the pile in agony. Hector walked away leaving Ghastly to deal with the General.

BGaE

Skarr held the steak to his eye as Ghastly checked his casted arm; and leg, and other. "Okay, new plan," he declared. "Do you remember Skarrina?"

"The bomb you thought was a real woman?" she questioned.

He blinked, then yelled, "I was blinded by love, okay!"

"Too blind to see a _bomb_?" she asked incredulously.

"Well, I… That's beside the point!" he defended. "Never mind. The point is, remember where I brought it when I left you two in a huff?"

"Yeah, what about it?" she asked.

"It's the most romantic spot on this dump of an island, Ghastly. Get with it," Skarr said, exasperated.

She blinked, then questioned, "Okay, where are you going with this? So far I like it."

"All right. Picture this. It's sunset, the sky's ablaze with colour, birds flitting about against the horizon. We have a picnic, then I casually find some way to excuse myself. You and Hector are left alone at the most beautiful and sensual time of day. You discuss a plot for a little, just to throw him off, but then you change the subject to more, shall we say, _intimate_, places. You get caught up in the moment and confess your feelings. In the heat of it all, _bam_! Kissy, kissy huggy, huggy, and all that there romantic stuff you women love hits you like a ton of bricks! Much like they hit _me_."

She blinked, catching the insult. "I said I'm sorry, okay," she defended.

"That doesn't make the hurt go away!" he yelled.

"What do you _want_ from me?" she stated with a frown.

BGaE

"Ahem," they heard someone say. Hector.

Blinking they looked. "Just the play sir," Skarr stated, grinning innocently. Why did he insist on walking in at the worst times?

Quickly Ghastly leapt in, saying, "Hey chief, we just had a great idea. Why don't we have a picnic? Tonight. Around sunset. You know, just for a change." She blushed.

"A picnic? Well I don't see why not. Where will this picnic be, Ghastly?" Hector asked. Boskov laughed and clapped.

"Oh, you know, outside. On the bunny's nose. You know. Beneath the eyes," she stammered, pointing to her nose. Skarr face palmed.

Hector raised an eyebrow. Boskov looked up at the brain. "Okay?" he replied. "General Skarr, I'm still waiting on a team up. We've tried everyone but one."

"But sir, she's not worth it!" Skarr protested.

"Oh yes she is! She was my first choice anyway. Get me Cataclysma! Don't let me down. I won't take no for an answer," Hector warned.

"Yes sir," Skarr glumly agreed.

"Good. I'll meet you both at the picnic then. Ghastly, I need your help designing this thing. I've run into a brick wall," he stated.

"Righty 'o' chief. Anything you say," she eagerly exclaimed, following him.

Skarr blinked, then frowned, calling, "I'm fine, thank you!" He looked at the potion, frowned, then said, "Oh bollux to _you_." He leapt off the table and walked out, leaving the bubbling potion behind…

BGaE

Boskov finished off a drumstick "Mmm, fantastic meal Ghastly. Who knew you could cook so well? It's as good as Skarr's. This was a great idea you two."

"Wasn't it though?" Skarr replied, as he and Ghastly shared a conspiratorial look. "Oh, I just remembered, I have to get through to Cataclysma! Forgive me, sir, for rushing off so soon. Before dessert too. Oh well, you kids have fun! Save a slice for me!" he quickly added, running off.

"What's with _him_?" Hector asked.

"Oh, you know, it's Skarr chief," Ghastly remarked. "So, how do you think this partnership with Cataclysma will work?"

"Just great! She's a superb villainess, and so powerful. Together we may finally overthrow the world! Granted, of course, the laser doesn't work. You know, Ghastly, she is one of the few women who have resisted my charm. I admire that about her. Truly I do. So many just fall for it," Hector raved.

Ghastly twitched, then frowned, saying, "What, do you have a crush on her or something?"

"A crush? A crush. I've never had one before. Or much of one. I doubt it Ghastly. I simply admire her," Hector replied.

She sighed in relief, then looked up at the sunset. Now or never. "Wow Hector, look at that sunset. It's so beautiful."

He looked. "It is, isn't it?" he questioned. "You know, Ghastly, Cataclysma controls nature."

She blinked, then continued, "It's so romantic, don't ya think? The birds, the last clouds, the first planet appearing."

"It is. I wonder if sunlight or beauty can be used for world domination. Better yet, love! We could get rid of all the love in the world, or even form rivalries within the League of Nations!" Hector exclaimed. She face palmed, shaking her head.

BGaE

Meanwhile, Skarr turned on the large screen. It rang thrice before a woman appeared, saying, "This had better be good Hector."

"Hello Cataclysma," Skarr coldly greeted.

She blinked, then frowned, saying, "Oh, it's _you_ General Skarr. If I'd known _that_, I wouldn't have picked up."

"Cut the crap. I'm here on behalf of Hector. The League of Destruction was a complete and utter failure. A disaster. However, Hector is willing to play with the idea of a team up. You, of course, were his first choice."

"Of course I was," she bit. "So, Hector wants to buddy up, does he?"

"Unfortunately," Skarr replied.

"Well, you can tell him that if he wants me, he'll have to come get me. Personally. Without his lackey's," she replied.

"You know full well that Hector doesn't do things on his own," Skarr retorted, getting angry.

"Well, he's going to have to. And if you don't quit now, it'll just make things harder," she stated.

"Now listen here, woman. If I don't go back to him with good news, I'm fried!" he shot.

"You're going to be fried anyway," she warned. He caught the tone and gasped, trying to run.

BGaE

"Listen to the ocean, Hector. It's like a love song," Ghastly prompted. She'd tried everything! Soon she would just have to play the last card before it was ready. Just then they heard General Skarr scream in pain!

"What was that?" Hector asked, turning.

"Nothing!" she yelled, grabbing Boskov's fur and turning the brain to face her.

"It sounded like Skarr," he stated.

"Forget Skarr, he's fine!" she shot. "Pay attention to me!"

Just then, though, Skarr crawled from the eyes of the rabbit, scorched and smoking. He coughed as he collapsed next to them, then groaned, "Bad news sir. Cataclysma refuses to partner with you unless you get her yourself."

"What? I don't do _anything_ myself!" Hector shot.

"You don't think I didn't tell her that?" Skarr questioned.

"Well go back and try harder!" he ordered.

Skarr froze, rising, then protested, "But sir, she almost _killed_ me! If I go there again, I'm a dead man!"

"Go anyway! _Die_ before you take no for an answer!" Hector proclaimed.

"B-b-but," Skarr stammered. "I don't _want_ to die."

"Oh suck it up Skarr," Hector said.

"Hey, you want her, go get her!" Ghastly yelled, furious.

Oblivious, Hector declared, "You know Doctor, you're right! Don't send a wimp to do a man's job. I'll handle this myself." With that, he raced off.

"Hector, wait!" Ghastly called. He was gone.

BGaE

"A wimp?" Skarr questioned.

"So much for our brilliant plans," Ghastly gloomily stated.

"Is it so wrong for me to want to live?" Skarr inquired, upset.

"No," Ghastly said with a sigh. She pulled out two bottles of soda and handed one to him as he sat next to her.

"We must be the biggest losers of them all. Well, with exception to Ner… never mind," Skarr remarked, popping off the cap and sipping before he revealed too much more of the previous adventure.

"Pity party? Sounds good. Let me try. Nothing I do, no matter how obvious I am, works. Maybe I _should've_ tried your lines," she mused, sipping as well.

"I'm so pathetic, I can't keep my neighbours from using my flowers as a bathroom. They hardly live a week because of it. I'm on the receiving end of everything that goes wrong. If it _can_ happen, it _does_ happen to me. Plus, I thought a bomb was a woman," Skarr retaliated.

"Touché," she admitted. "Let's try this. I was a good girl. I hate world domination, yet I was willing to give up on all my principles, throw away my personality, for a man who doesn't even know I love him. I mean, he thought I loved _you_."

He smirked, saying, "That _is_ pretty pathetic. I think we can both agree that Hector is the biggest idiot of us all in games of love, but we just both really suck."

"Amen to that," she grumbled. "To being the underlings. Failure is our middle name," she said. They raised the bottles then drank.

BGaE

Skarr looked at his bottle as the minions sat in comfortable silence next to each other. All at once, he remarked, "You know, between you and me, I think you could do better than that idiot Con Carne."

"Really?" she asked.

"Definitely," he answered.

"Like who?" she questioned, putting her hands to her cheeks sadly.

"Oh don't put yourself down, Doctor. As I've said, you are a very beautiful woman. There are plenty of other muscle bound jerks out there besides Hector," Skarr assured. Instantly, though, he knew he'd made a mistake.

"Wait a minute, you think I'm only into muscle heads! How shallow do you think I _am_!" she demanded, suddenly angry.

"Oh please, Ghastly. When we met our future past selves, they had that baby Destructius," Skarr replied.

"So? He was mine and Hector's son! Future past Ghastly said so!" she shot.

"Give me a break. You know as well as I that it's not even physically _possible_ for your 'miracle of love' to conceive offspring spontaneously. Even _I_ know that. The only other person on that island was _me_, and we both know how preposterous _that_ is. Since you haven't given birth, I assume you never got pregnant _before_ we left for the island. I'm guessing that future past you probably found some Tarzan type person or a jungle tribe, and anger got the best of her. Really, I'm just wondering which idiot you went with."

"I should throw you off of this bunny for that Skarr! How _dare_ you accuse me of something like that!" she shot. "Besides, you know very well we three were the only ones on that island!" She cut out the fact only two of those three had a reproductive system. There was no way future past her would have gone with Skarr, right? No way. She didn't know how the power of love would work, but hey, if the Grim Reaper existed, why not Aphrodite? Who knew, perhaps Aphrodite had pitied her and bent a few rules.

Meanwhile, Skarr was realizing that, oh he was just making this worse. "You're taking this out of proportion Ghastly! I didn't mean it like that! Besides, who knows what future past you did?" Skarr defended. "Look, can we please not fight?"

She sighed then backed down, saying, "Sorry. I was getting a little touchy." There was silence. Finally she asked, "You really think I'd stand a chance with someone else?"

"Why not? At least you have the capability to _get_ someone. Look at me. With this scar, who have _I_ got a chance with?" he remarked.

"Oh come on General. You'll find someone," Ghastly assured. He scoffed. There was silence again. Finally, though, Ghastly looked over to him. For a moment she summed him up, then smiled. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all. At least not when he was sympathizing with someone. All at once she leaned over and gave him a friendly peck on the cheek, making him sit up straight in surprise. "Thanks Skarr," she said.

He looked at her, eyebrow raised, then replied, "Uh, you're welcome." As the stars began to show themselves, the two watched the birds against the horizon and the fading sunset.


	7. Stolen Plans

Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

(A/N: Second up today. Hector's plans are missing, and Evil Con Carne is going after their prime suspect. But what if they're walking right into a trap?)

Stolen Plans

"At last, Ghastly, the plans for my master laser are complete!" Hector exclaimed to his major doctor.

"It's great chief. With _that_ thing, we'll be unstoppable," Ghastly excitedly replied.

"Out of curiosity, what does it do?" Skarr asked, interrupting their discussion.

Hector replied, "I'm glad you asked. This manually controlled laser can go through _anything_, no matter how strong or thick. No off switch, only a code for turning it on or off. It rises from the ground and has a built in self-destruct sequence, as well, voice activated to only us three, so that if you're losing, you can simply let the bomb finish them off while you run away. It controls a series of smaller bombs, spread around the base, just in case."

"Really," Skarr remarked, smirking evilly, eyes mischievously darting around, thinking of all the ways he could use it to his advantage.

"Indestructible unless we tell it otherwise, once it's set up, we'll be unstoppable," Ghastly declared.

"Then set it up. What are you waiting for?" Skarr demanded.

"After supper Ghastly can do it," Hector said, tossing the plans onto Ghastly's work table.

"Yeah, I'm hungry," Stomach declared. Skarr blinked, then frowned in disbelief. Nonetheless, he followed his teammates out, turning off the light and shutting the door after them, leaving the room in darkness.

All at once, however, a light began to flash, then three figures moved across the room towards the work table.

BGaE

Evil Con Carne returned to the room, Hector saying, "I want this built by tomorrow, Ghastly."

"I can try chief," she replied uncertainly.

Skarr rolled his eyes. Always eager to please, wasn't she? He looked to the table and gasped. "Skarr, what's wrong?" Hector asked.

"The plans are gone!" General Skarr exclaimed, pointing.

"What!" Hector exclaimed, running to the table. He looked around, asking, "How can that _be_?"

"It was a good laser," Ghastly said. "Maybe someone was spying on us!"

"Estroy," Hector stated, eyebrows knit.

"Not likely sir. This doesn't seem like his work," General Skarr said, as he and Ghastly exchanged a grimace.

"What do you mean Skarr?" Con Carne demanded.

"Estroy leaves calling cards, or boasts about his victories. There's nothing here. He hasn't even called us," Skarr replied.

"Well who would want this laser, _and_ have the ability to sneak out undetected?" Hector demanded.

All at once, Evil Con Carne stiffened up. "Troop Terror!" they all exclaimed together.

Boskov roared. "Of course we're going after them Boskov!" Hector shot. "General Skarr, gather the troops!"

"Uh, I can't sir. They're all on their weekend," Skarr replied, grinning guiltily, shrugging.

"Must we do everything ourselves?" Hector complained. "Ghastly, Skarr, to the doom ship!"

"Yes sir!" the two said together, saluting. Quickly they raced off.

BGaE

"Troop Terror's base camp is coming into view," Doctor Ghastly declared.

"About time. I want my laser cannon built," Hector complained.

"We'll be there in T minus five minutes," Skarr stated.

"Excellent," Hector said evilly. "Skarr, stop it outside a window. We'll climb down to the ground level then infiltrate the base."

"Yes sir," Skarr replied, obeying.

As soon as they stopped, Hector ordered, "Skarr, bring out the ropes." Skarr dashed off, returning with three ropes, complete with grapple hooks. "Skarr, secure them, and make sure we won't fall to our deaths."

"Of course sir," Skarr answered through gritted teeth, now annoyed.

Barely had he tightened Boskov and Ghastly's, when Hector called, "Skarr, get over here!" Skarr began to grumble, glancing over his and quickly pulling it, not taking time to thoroughly check. He ran to the others. "On the count of three, jump," Hector stated. "One, two, three!"

The trio jumped from the ship, falling towards the ground. Hector and Ghastly's ropes suddenly caught, catching them as they fell, so they could lower themselves the rest of the way. Skarr's, however, not so much. His safety lines knot had given out! He cried out in terror as he fell the rest of the way down to the ground. Ghastly and Hector cringed. "Ouch," Ghastly remarked as the General hit the ground.

"Skarr, I told you to check!" Hector called.

Painfully rising up, groaning, Skarr sarcastically said, not loud enough for his boss to hear, "You don't say."

BGaE

The group came up to an area of the base covered in foliage. "I wonder if there's a secret entrance behind that out of place ivy," Ghastly said.

"Skarr, investigate," Hector ordered. Skarr blinked, then frowned, muttering as he went up to it. He drew his rapier and cut through. Sure enough, there was an opening. He leaned down, bored, and looked around. Just then he heard a noise and looked ahead. He gasped, and hardly had time to cry out before flames shot from inside, scorching him.

He cried out in agony, falling back and batting at his clothes. "General Skarr, stop drop and roll!" Ghastly called. He instantly obeyed, rolling right into a swamp. He groaned, crawling out. Ghastly cringed.

"The coast, is clear, sir," Skarr stated, falling flat on his face.

"Excellent work Skarr," Hector said. Boskov went up to him and grabbed his arm, dragging Skarr along with them as they entered the tunnel.

They reached the end and found themselves peeking out of a trap door into a pitch black room. Hector shut it once more, saying, "Skarr, investigate." Skarr twitched.

On seeing this, Ghastly felt sorry for him. "Chief, _I'll_ go," she stated. Skarr sighed in relief.

"Why bother? Skarr's perfectly capable," Hector remarked.

"Hasn't he been through enough?" Ghastly questioned. "Come on Hector. It's no big deal." She went to the trap door and entered the room. She touched a button on the side of her goggles. Night vision could be handy. She looked cautiously around. She spotted the door and made her way to it, opening it. It led into a large room. Nothing was attacking. She turned to her co-worker's, calling, "The coast is clear, come on!"

"See Skarr, there was nothing to worry about. You're such a scaredy cat. Maybe _she_ should be my militia leader," Hector belittled, following. Skarr growled and took off his hat, biting it viciously to keep from saying things he'd regret later.

As he reached Ghastly, who'd stayed behind, she asked, "Hey, you okay?"

"Oh never been better," Skarr replied bitterly.

"I guess now's not the time to discuss our next plan?" Ghastly questioned. Skarr blinked, then sighed. "Didn't think so," she admitted.

"There they are," Hector whispered to the others, as they peeked into a room. "Let's take them by surprise and burst in."

"Oh, why not? What could _possibly_ go wrong," Skarr sarcastically questioned.

"I'm glad you agree," Hector said. "Charge!" With that he threw open the door, leaping in, Ghastly and Skarr following. Troop Terror turned in shock.

BGaE

"Ah ha, we have you _now_! Give me my plans!" Hector barked at the three small girls, who merely scowled at them on catching up with what was happening.

"No way!" one said.

"We won them fair and square!" a second declared.

"Finders keepers!" the third shot.

Skarr looked cautious. Ghastly was uncertain. Something seemed off. For instance, why was Troop Terror suddenly interested in stealing their plans? Those little girls never bothered with Evil Con Carne before. Hector, however, was too angry to think about small details like that. "Give them here you sorry excuses for villains!" Hector ordered. Boskov whimpered, trying to run, also sensing something off, but Hector had control at the moment.

"You'll have to pry them from our cold dead fingers. Better yet, you can pry them from the government," the three girls retorted, pressing a red button. Instantly a high pitched wail sounded. Almost instantly, on a screen behind the children, a large group of dots appeared, en route for the base!

"What the…" Hector began.

"The government is on their way here," the first said.

"See, they found out about our camp and came to take us under the governments care," the second chimed.

"We made them a deal. In exchange for Evil Con Carne, they'd let us go. They're coming to get you," the third stated.

BGaE

"We've been betrayed!" Ghastly cried.

"We never _worked_ with them," Skarr stated.

"By other villains," Ghastly explained, looking at the General in exasperation. All at once, however, she gasped. Troop terror was shooting! The three dove apart with cries of fear, scattering as a spitfire of lasers shot out at them!

Ghastly rolled off to the side, diving behind a barrier. Seconds later Skarr, crying out in fear, dove over as well landing next to her. "That was close," he said.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Perfect," he answered. They quickly looked out for Hector, only to see Boskov desperately trying to dance around the lasers without being hit! Hector looked afraid. The two minions gasped, then looked for the little pests. They were running towards a button. All at once they pushed it, and in front of the shocked eyes of Evil Con Carne, the very laser Hector had come up with rose from the floor, Troop Terror on it, laughing evilly.

Boskov froze in dread, staring up at it. Hector suddenly felt small and insignificant. "Aye Caramba," Hector remarked.

"Now, Hector Con Carne, you're ours!" the troop declared, charging up the laser and typing down something else.

Hector scoffed. "Skarr, dive in front of this laser for me will you," Hector said, having full confidence Skarr would obey without hesitation. However…

"Unlikely. My name's not stupid," Skarr muttered. Hector frowned on seeing no reaction from his minion. He didn't even know where Skarr _was_.

Ghastly turned to Skarr, saying, "What? Skarr, we have to do _something_!"

"Why bother?" Skarr questioned. "I don't particularly care what happens to him."

"Skarr, he's our boss!" Ghastly exclaimed.

"So what? It's always Skarr do this, Skarr do that, Skarr spring this obvious trap, Skarr explore that weird tunnel. I'm sick of it! It's about time he got a taste of his own medicine," Skarr protested. If _I_ can live, _he_ certainly can.

"We don't _know_ if you could live!" Ghastly exclaimed. The laser was whining now, almost fully charged. Ghastly quickly added, "We'll be rewarded."

"Yeah right," Skarr scoffed.

"You coward!" she exclaimed, playing one of her last cards.

"Coming from the doctor who does nothing but invent and build things!" Skarr shot back.

Ghastly looked back, pale, letting the insult slide and saying, "Do you want me to dare you to?"

"Maybe _you_ should jump, since you love him so much," Skarr retorted.

Ghastly swallowed, then replied, "Fine, I _will_."

BGaE

Skarr looked startled. Had she just said what he _thought_ she'd said? She prepared to spring. "You're crazy Ghastly. You don't know how to handle something like this. Not like me. _I've_ had _practice_," he said.

"I'm not going to sit by doing nothing. People do crazy things when they're in love," she replied. He blinked at her, uncertainty and the rarely shown worry in his eyes. He looked back at Hector and the laser.

"Goodbye Con Carne," Troop terror said.

"Skarr, jump in front of this laser for me!" Hector cried again, now terrified, unable to move fast enough to escape. Ghastly prepared to leap. Just then, it fired!


	8. Loss

Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

(A/N: Third up today. Early thank you to any reviewers who review this story. If this part seems a little off, sorry, but this chapter was actually meant to be a oneshot to test the waters of GAoBaM/Grim and Evil fanfiction. Of course that was forgotten when I realized I could probably do more with it, and if I did more I'd need more of the background leading up to the event. The chapter has greatly extended from the original oneshot. Wish I'd tested the waters first, though.)

Loss

_When you love someone, your first instinct is to look up, when they step away, to see if they're still there-_Agent David Rossi, Criminal Minds.

Bang! She froze, mouth falling open as she watched. Never before had she _ever_ thought she could feel like this for him. Hector, maybe, but _him_? Yet here she was, feeling it, whatever it was. He'd done it. He'd taken the laser for Hector and Boskov. For _her_… He hadn't let her go through with it.

He cried out in pain, rolling to a stop, sprawled over the decorative low steps. His head hung over one, along with an arm. Her heart had stopped in that moment, especially knowing that she had prompted him to.

"Skarr?" Hector asked, shocked. This was the man who only recently, when they found him in Endsville, had complained about that order, vowing never to do it again. He wasn't sure, but he was fairly confident Skarr had already lost an eye to those words, or some other such incident in which he was the scapegoat. He seemed to recall Skarr running with scissors, laser mishap, then losing it. He never thought his General would do it again.

Ghastly ran up to Hector, but asked the other, "General, are you alright?"

"Oh-just-_peachy_!" the General spat out angrily. "It's a flesh wound, Major Ghastly, that's all." Yet, he never turned to them, nor moved. They should have known.

BGaE

He opened his hands, which he had clenched over his stomach, and though the others couldn't see, he became fearful, shaking a moment before recovering. They were covered. He tasted blood in his mouth. He felt it leaking from his lips and nose. A flesh wound. Hah! He knew otherwise. The moment it hit him, he'd known. After all this time, all the escapes… He'd been sliced to pieces before, had his flesh ripped off, been torn into by saws and spikes, been shot multiple times, electrocuted, a great multitude of other things; every one of the occurrences should have killed him. They didn't. He was too stubborn for that, too powerful, he'd calculated it just right, or been plain lucky. But _this_…?

He'd done something wrong this time; miscalculated. This wasn't like the other times; oh no. Mortal. A less severe injury than many of his others, yet _this_ was the mortal wound; the death blow. It terrified him to no end. He was _dying_. He couldn't recover from _this_. He couldn't escape the reaper _again_, as he had once before! All at once, though, a startling revelation came to him. He supposed things like this happened before you died. A question. Did he even have a reason to fight for life besides his own stubbornness? It took him less than a second to determine he didn't.

He heard Ghastly and Hector boasting over the escape, the victory, for the trio of children had run, leaving the plans behind, then the imminent defeat if they didn't leave soon. The 'love birds'- and he scoffed to think that- barely _touched_ on _him_, if at all. Did they even realize he wasn't standing next to them? Just then an explosion rang through the base, shaking it. He cringed in pain and shivered, swallowing painfully.

BGaE

Ghastly, Hector, and Boskov looked up in terror, and around. Almost immediately, they spotted a timer, ticking down the moments left. "They activated the self-destruct!" Hector said.

"Chief, we have to go!" Ghastly exclaimed.

"You don't have to tell me twice," Hector replied. "Boskov, Ghastly, Skarr, come on!" with that, Boskov bolted with a cry of fear, Ghastly right behind. Skarr would follow immediately, like always. Why then, just before they raced out the door, did she look back?

When you cared for someone… no, loved- hey, he was her friend, and she loved him as such, didn't she- your first instinct was to look up, when they stepped away, to see if they were still there… He wasn't. She slid to a halt, asking, "Skarr?"

He heard her. He didn't move, for to move would mean more pain. He just closed his eyes, quietly giving a pained moan, hoping they wouldn't come back. He didn't want to be seen like this. It was then, though, that he coughed. Coughed like a dying man; drowning, choking, on his own blood. Ghastly tensed up instantly.

"Ghastly, come on," Hector prompted, stopping at the exit to wait for her.

"Hold on. General Skarr hasn't moved. He might be hurt," she protested, running back.

Hector looked to the clock in fear, then groaned and went halfway back, assuring, "He'll be fine. He always is. He's had worse than that."

"I'm not so sure chief," Ghastly replied, coming up behind Skarr, wanting to be convinced.

He knew she was about to investigate. Quickly, though, he said, trying to divert her, "Oh just go on already. I'll catch up in a minute."

"That's about all we _have_," Hector worriedly remarked, looking tensely at the clock that was counting down the moments left until they all went boom!

BGaE

She noticed when he never moved. Not even to look at her when speaking. Oh how she noticed. She sensed, no, _knew_, something was undoubtedly wrong now. Worried, she moved around to the front, kneeling next to him. There she saw the pool of blood. She gasped, pulling back. "I told you, flesh wound," Skarr insisted.

She seized his hands like lighting, saying, "Like Hades!" She tried to pry them away from his abdomen.

Skarr fought to keep them in place, saying, "Ghastly, please, this is hardly the time for intimacy!" He couldn't fight long, however, and he knew it. He felt so _weak_. He'd lost too much blood. It was nothing short of a miracle that he'd held his hands in place _this_ long. In seconds she pried them away. On seeing, however, she screamed, covering her mouth.

"Ghastly, what's wrong?" Hector demanded, instantly alert. It was rare she reacted like this to something. This was comparable to when the General had lost his eye, and he knew it had to be bad.

Shaking, she stammered, "Ch-chief, the G-General… He-he's hurt, _bad_."

Confused, Con Carne asked, "So? He's been hurt before, Doctor. General Skarr, quit being a baby. Get up."

"Hector, he _can't_!" Ghastly exclaimed, tone fearful.

She prepared to roll him onto his back, despite Skarr ordering, "Major, release me instantly!"

"No way General," she retorted, rolling him onto his back. Boskov gasped. Hector blinked, shocked.

"Skarr…" Stomach said in disbelief.

Just then another explosion was heard, closer this time. Time was ticking. Hector looked around, then to Ghastly, saying, "Doctor Ghastly, we must go now! Get Skarr and come!"

"Up you go General," she said, trying to help him up. He cried out in pain and swiftly slipped away, falling onto his back, panting. She was surprised at his action. "Skarr, come on," she prompted, reaching to him.

He slapped her hand away, ordering, "Stop it, Ghastly, just stop. Get out of here with Con Carne, now. I told you, I'll catch up."

"Not in _this_ condition you won't!" she retorted. "Let me help you," she pled, reaching for him again. Scowling, he drew his rapier. She pulled away with a gasp.

BGaE

Icily he ordered, "No. It hurts…It hurts so badly," She blinked at him, shocked. His voice was filled with pain. She could only _imagine_ how much. Suddenly her eyes were burning with tears, threatening to fall. She was losing one of her closest friends, err, co-workers. He replaced the rapier.

"Come on General. How can we make Hector love me if you're gone? This is your chance to beat him at something. We have to get you out of here," she said in a meek and fearful voice, confused at the General's actions, and hurt. Normally, he'd be _begging_ them to save him.

"Oh, I wish you could, Major Doctor," the General declared through teeth gritted in pain, in a tone she'd rarely ever heard. Defeat. Surrender. Oh Skarr…

"We can," she insisted, tears coming from her eyes slowly.

He saw it. To say he was surprised would be downplaying. However, he soon ignored, solemnly stating, "Not this time, Ghastly." She blinked, shocked, then looked at the wound. Her lip quivered. He was right. The injury wasn't one he could recover from. Not without the hand of the gods themselves reaching out to him. But which one would waste their breath? She covered her mouth, shaking her head. Boskov and Hector looked confused, sad, and unsure what was happening.

"But…" she began.

"Stop, please, just let me go," Skarr ordered gravely.

"No. I can't," she tried to protest.

He shook his head coldly. "You have to," he said. Then his eyes closed, and his head sank back. He lay still.

BGaE

"General?" she asked urgently. No response. "General Skarr!" she cried, more desperately. He was still alive, she knew he was, she could feel it! They had to get him out!

A red alert and siren suddenly blared. She gasped. Hector quickly looked at the clock above the main explosive. He cried out in terror. Fifteen seconds! "Ghastly, hurry!" he exclaimed.

"Boskov, come get the General!" she called.

Boskov was about to listen, when Hector stated gravely, regretfully, "There is no time Boskov." Never in his life had he had to make such a decision as this. Never had he been in such a position. His General still lived, though barely, and to leave him behind… He felt like a traitor, but he knew what was best, what had to be done. "Grab Ghastly and run!"

The bear obeyed, racing to Ghastly and grabbing her, running off. "Wait, we can't leave him!" she exclaimed, trying to pull away. Hector closed his eyes, forcing himself to tune out the pleading woman. She struggled.

Hector, however, instantly realized that they'd never make it with her struggling. He took control of the bear, scooping her up and running. She surrendered, burying her face in Boskov's fur, crying. Hector felt the threatening moisture pricking his own eyes as well. No, he couldn't cry. Crying was for babies. Wasn't it? They saw the doom ship out a window. Five seconds! Desperately Boskov crashed through the glass, leaping for the getaway ship. No sooner had they landed, and desperately started it heading away from the base, then the explosion came, obliterating the area! Evil Con Carne gaped back at it, shocked. Soon enough, even the echo died, and only their ship was heard.

BGaE

"No…" Hector said in shock.

Snapping out of her astonishment, Ghastly exclaimed, "Quick Hector, go back! Maybe some part of him survived! Maybe we can save him like we did _you_!" She noticed instantly, though, that both he and Boskov were staring sadly at her. "What?" she asked.

"Doctor Ghastly, you know that can't be. Even _I_ know. He was too close to the center of the explosion. He would have been obliterated…" Hector gently explained. "And even… even if part of him survived, do you honestly think he would want to live like that, like me? He wouldn't be able to do it, you know he would sooner die."

Ghastly blinked at him. The truth of his words hit her like a ton of bricks. All at once she burst into tears, covering her face. "No! General," she wept.

Hector cringed at the mention of his General's fate. He felt the pricking moisture again. No. He had to be strong, for her and Boskov. Gently he soothed, "There, there, Ghastly. He's better off." Boskov caught onto the woman's sadness, sniffed, then burst into tears, along with Stomach, hitting the ground and pounding it. Hector fought for control, and finally managed to stand up once more.

The doctor saw Hector's brain finally crying, though silently. He'd never admit to it afterwards, she knew. He honestly wasn't even friends with Skarr. It was just everything they'd been through. Then it hit her. Hector had paid attention to her. He'd saved her life. He was trying to be strong for her. Hector _liked_ her. The plan had worked. At what cost, though? General Skarr was dead. He'd died for her, and for Hector. How could she feel grateful or happy when he wasn't there to celebrate their victory over Hector with her?

BGaE

Ghastly sat on a crate, legs curled under her looking down. Boskov, with Hector, leaned on the railing of the ship, gazing out over the ocean as they neared Bunny Island. Suddenly, without looking up, Ghastly asked, "Chief, why do you think Skarr ordered us to leave him behind? I'd have thought he'd want to take _us_ down _with_ him."

Hector Con Carne was silent a moment. Finally, though, he replied, "I don't know. He's tried so many times to get rid of me before, so I don't understand why he wouldn't try now…" He trailed off, thinking.

"Hector," she said, pulling him back.

He continued, "From what I know of Skarr, there is only one reason I can think of that he would do such a thing as this."

"What?" she wondered.

He looked at her a moment, then answered, "Glory." She cocked her head, listening; now intrigued. He continued, "Glory is the key. Sure, he could have taken us with him, but if he had, who would remember? _Glory_, Ghastly, _glory_; and will I give him glory. His name will be _showered_ with it. He gave his _life_ for me." He heard a sniff and looked to her. She was crying. Hector watched her, then sighed, sitting next to her. Solemnly he said, "If nothing else, Skarr knew the difference between a flesh wound and a coup de gras, the death blow. A mortal wound. The General would have known instantly, whether he would live or die. He would have had time to accept it. He wouldn't even ask for help, if he knew it couldn't be helped. Why prolong suffering and pain?"

Meekly she wondered, "How painful do you think it was?"

He was quiet. Soon, though, he answered, "If we start thinking of how he suffered in his last moments, we'll never let go."

"I don't _want_ to let go," she replied in a whisper.

"Time heals all wounds, so I'm told. I've heard Skarr say it enough," Hector assured.

She sniffed then hugged him, finally sobbing, "Oh Skarr!" Hector could do nothing but hold his distressed friend back.


	9. You're Alive

Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

You're Alive…

It had been so quiet, so strange, so uneventful, so different. Without Skarr… Hector couldn't even focus long enough to come up with a plan. Ghastly sat, face buried in her hands, at the table. Even Boskov had been moping around, quiet, unmotivated to move. Hector often continued to call on his General, only to realize with a jolt that Skarr wouldn't answer; and this time, it wasn't because he'd left, or because they'd been put out of business. After realizing this, he'd fall silent, not speaking to anyone. Right now, for instance, they all sat at the table, not speaking.

After a long moment, Hector declared, "My plans for world domination must continue. Why can't I think of anything? Ghastly, help me."

"Mourning, Chief, something everyone does," she quietly explained.

"Not me," Hector insisted.

"Even you," she stated. "Without Skarr, nothing's balanced. It's like losing a wheel off of a wagon. It's just weird," she explained.

He sighed, saying, "Maybe I should watch TV. It always motivates my hunger for world domination. Especially the political and army sessions." Ghastly tiredly looked at the screen.

ECC

It popped up on a news broadcast. The announcer declared, "We are standing outside of the army base, where in only moments, the execution ceremony of a political enemy will be commencing. We now take you inside."

The camera angle changed, and Ghastly, who had been sipping water, spewed it out in shock. Boskov roared and raced to the TV. Hector's eyes widened, and he exclaimed, "Skarr!" Ghastly could only gape and shake her head. Sure enough, there stood the General, looking bored with it all as ever, then annoyed, then uncertain, then defiant. He was being held in place by two robot arms on either side of him.

"Skarr…" Ghastly said in shock. Hector, Boskov, Stomach, and her, exchanged shocked gazes.

The reporter went up to a high looking official, questioning, "Tell me, General. You're the overseer of this execution. Why, again, are you broadcasting it over the air? Why is he _being_ executed? How did you capture him? Is it true he's one of the members of the famous terrorist organization, Evil Con Carne? Is it true that he was one of Hector Con Carne's top paramilitary generals?"

Skarr scoffed, saying, "Oh please." Hector only _had_ one. Evil Con Carne consisted of two people, a brain, a stomach, and a bear. Technically three, since the bear housed both the brain and stomach. The common soldiers were just there. Backup in case of emergencies. The reporter made Evil Con Carne sound like an actual organization.

"He _scoffed_ at me!" Hector exclaimed, eyebrows knit angrily.

"He-he's alive," Ghastly said.

"Not for long, by the looks of it," Hector declared. They were shocked, mortified, none more so than the doctor.

"Chief, we have to do something!" she exclaimed.

"We need something to get us there quick," Hector agreed.

"A teleporter! Be back in a jiffy," Ghastly exclaimed. She raced to the lab. Hector and Boskov followed. She already had the TV on, and was getting supplies out.

ECC

"We'll tell you all about it," the General, and execution overseer being interviewed, declared. "Yes, he is a member of Evil Con Carne. He is, in fact, Hector's top General. For that very reason, we're broadcasting his execution over the air. What better way to weaken Evil Con Carne, than to kill off their leader's greatest General over national television? While they're all watching, at that. We'll show them that evil never prospers. We're coming after you Con Carne, and we'll capture you, just like we did your militia General here."

"How did you _get_ him?" Hector demanded of the television. "Skarr isn't one to be captured."

"How did we capture him, you ask?" the overseer continued.

"Yes, tell me," Hector insisted.

"Well, Evil Con Carne left him for dead. Maybe next time they won't make that mistake. We found him in the main bomb room, five seconds before it would blow. There was a pulse, no breathing, so we grabbed him and ran out of there. We barely got away. If not for Cod Commando, we wouldn't have escaped, _or_ taken him along. He was dying, see, and we didn't want to risk saving a dying man, but Cod Commando convinced us otherwise after slowing down the bomb's destruction time," the man explained.

"Cod Commando helped save one of my men?" Hector questioned, shocked.

"Well, he _is_ a hero," Ghastly offered, working on the teleporter as fast as humanly possible.

ECC

The overseer continued, "We saw why his boss left him for dead, though. In fact, we're _still_ wondering how he made it."

"You're not the only one!" General Skarr called. His injury had been without a doubt mortal, he knew. He shouldn't have lived, _despite_ medical and scientific advances; and once he figured it out, he'd be sure not to make the same mistake _again_. Next time he was going to die, and his enemies were closing in, he'd just take the cowards way out and kill himself. It would _certainly_ be more appealing than _this_! Unless, of course, it had been the hand of some deity that had reached out for him; in _that_ case, he desperately wanted to know which god or goddess' favor he had earned so he could use it to his advantage. Then again, perhaps he already knew. Eris… He smirked coldly at the thought. She wasn't half bad.

Evil Con Carne kept watching. Ghastly frantically worked to whip up a teleporter. The execution ceremony was reaching its end. The execution overseer turned to the camera, saying right into it, "Con Carne, you can still save him. Come out, wherever you are. If you're watching this, I'd advise you call in."

"Fat chance," Hector retorted.

There was a pause, then the overseer General said, "Fine, have it _your_ way." He turned to Skarr, saying, "Last chance, General Skarr. If you turn in Evil Con Carne, and lead us to them, we'll let you live, and pay you as well."

"_What_?" Skarr exclaimed, shocked; instantly straightening up from his sulking slouch.

"You heard us," the man replied. Everything on Bunny Island stopped as they gazed at the screen in shock.

ECC

For a moment nothing was said. Skarr only blinked. He'd always _wanted_ to overthrow Hector. Now he would be _paid_ to. "You want me to what?" he asked, tossing the idea around. It seemed like a good deal. Then again, to turn in Evil Con Carne would mean to turn it over to the good guys. He wanted Evil Con Carne for himself so _he_ could take over the world. To give it to the _heroes_…? Sure, he'd turned in Hector before, but not the whole group, or the island.

"You heard us. We'll even give you a job as a General in the army," the General overseer of the execution declared.

Instantly he became suspicious. They would give him a job if he turned in his own? _That_ didn't add up. He suspected a trick. After a moment, he replied, "Somehow I seriously doubt that."

The other General stiffened, then questioned, "Oh, why?"

"Oh please. I'm an army man, sir. You're lying. After all, why would you hire a General to your army who already betrayed his own? You know as well as I, that you couldn't trust a man like that. He could just as easily turn on _you_. Besides, I get glory from Hector for being, ugh, loyal. From you I'll get nothing. Sorry, but I'm not inclined to your offer."

ECC

To say Hector was shocked would be an understatement. He blinked, then whirled to Ghastly, ordering, "Ghastly, hurry it up will you! We must save Skarr!" Turning back to the screen, he said in awe, "He never _betrayed_ me. He wanted to, but he didn't." Ghastly instantly obeyed, typing in a few more commands.

"Ready chief!" she exclaimed.

"Good, let's go!" he ordered. Instantly they raced in, and in seconds they found themselves on an empty balcony, looking down on the execution. Men surrounded Skarr, each one aiming a gun at him.

"Well, that's too bad, General. There goes your last chance," the execution overseer declared. All at once the weapons were cocked. Skarr's eye widened. Hmm, maybe this wasn't so terribly clever.

He grinned innocently, sweating, saying, "Perhaps now wasn't a good time to call a bluff?" He'd nailed it.

"Men, prepare to fire on my order!" the execution General stated. Skarr gasped in alarm.

ECC

"Chief, we've got to do something!" Ghastly exclaimed.

"So we will!" Hector declared. "Ghastly, bring out the portable plasma shield generator!"

"Brilliant Chief," Ghastly said, quickly handing it to him.

"Now we just need to get down there," Hector stated, looking around.

"Fire!" the General ordered. Ghastly gasped. There was no time to plan something. She seized the shield generator then leapt for a rope, swinging right down into the firing range with a battle cry! The instant she landed, she called up the shield, surrounding herself and Skarr, who stared at her, mouth agape, as bullets rained all around them from all angles.

"Ghastly, what are you doing here?" he demanded. "Where's Hector?"

"Up there," she replied quickly. Skarr looked.

Hector stared wide eyed, then his eyes narrowed. No way was he going to lose both his General _and_ his mad scientist. He ordered, "Boskov, bring out the big guns."

Boskov growled, then whipped them out, aiming. "Shoot the robot arms holding Skarr! Ghastly, put down the shield!"

ECC

Ghastly and Skarr looked up. Quickly Ghastly obeyed, and almost immediately two lasers zapped Skarr free of the robots. Instantly Ghastly put the shield up again. Skarr grinned, then laughed evilly. "I win!" he exclaimed. "In your faces!" He promptly ran for a pulley rope that trailed down from just above the balcony Hector and Boskov were waiting on, Ghastly right next to him, keeping up the shield. _Everyone_ was shooting at them!

"Skarr, the shield's losing power!" Ghastly stated.

"How much is left?" he asked.

"Fifty percent!" she cried, as he grabbed the rope and tugged it.

"I've scaled worse than this," Skarr boasted, smiling.

"What about _me_?" she asked. "I still have to keep up this shield."

"Hold onto me," Skarr quickly said, as if it were obvious.

"With one arm?" she asked.

"Good point," he remarked, worriedly looking around.

"Skarr, Ghastly, hurry!" Hector called from above.

"Forty percent general," Ghastly said, tone fearful.

ECC

Skarr cringed, then began to sweat, looking frantically around. All at once he saw the solution, and he grinned. His eyebrow knit evilly. He grabbed onto the rope and seized Ghastly around the waist, making her cry out in surprise. She looked at his arm, then at him, confused and slightly nervous. "I've got this," he declared. He let her go for a split second, long enough to draw his rapier and slice the rope, then seized her again, as a sandbag fell from above, making them shoot up towards the balcony! Ghastly screamed in surprise.

Like a pro, he landed right on the balcony, holding her. He let go, exclaiming, "Ah ha, I've just outsmarted the whole army with the most clichéd move in the book! Chalk one up for General Skarr!" He boogied, saying, "Go Skarr, go Skarr!" All at once he stopped, declaring, "I feel like a hero!" Expression souring, he added, "How depressing."

"Skarr, you're alive!" Ghastly exclaimed, suddenly hugging him, taking him off guard.

He looked blankly at her, blinking, then replied awkwardly, as he gingerly held her back, "Um, there, there?"

"You're alive!" Hector exclaimed, as Boskov seized him from the ground, crushing him then licking him.

"Boskov, no! Down boy!" Skarr ordered, balking at the contact and the tongue.

"We're so happy," Stomach said.

"We have to leave," Skarr quickly said, coming up with a way out of the awkward situation.

Putting him down, Hector said, "Yes, of course. Ghastly, teleport us back."

"I can't chief," she cried. "It needs time to recharge. We were in such a rush to save General Skarr that I didn't work out all the bugs. It's only forty-five percent charged."

"What!" Hector and Skarr exclaimed together.

The group looked at each other, then Hector declared, "Then I guess there's only one thing to do."

"What is that, sir?" Skarr asked.

"Run!" he cried, bolting with Boskov. Ghastly and Skarr raced after him.

ECC

"This is going to be a pain," Skarr complained.

"I agree. Cod Commando will be after us in an instant, along with SPORK. On top of that, this place is crawling with army men," Hector replied.

"I think I may know a secret escape," Ghastly declared, smiling secretively.

"Well spill," Skarr demanded.

"This way," she said, suddenly racing into a room. The others followed. She stopped right beneath a big grate, saying, "The vents are our emergency escape. We can use them to get out."

"Don't they have some system for finding anyone escaping through it?" Hector questioned.

"Yes, so we'll have to move fast. They'll find us soon. I doubt _two_ clichéd escape attempts will work out," Ghastly replied, opening it. "Stick close. I don't know what sorts of booby traps they'll throw out for us." Instantly the group clambered inside, shutting it behind them.

ECC

Quietly Evil Con Carne made their way through the vents, barely daring to breathe. They saw the army scrambling below them, or heard them nearby. They were pushing their luck. "How much further?" Skarr demanded to know.

"I'm not sure General," Ghastly replied. She checked the teleporting device, saying, "It's at seventy percent."

"Why don't we just stay here for a moment and rest, then?" Skarr questioned.

Hector and Boskov looked through a grate. "Boskov, open it," Hector ordered.

"Chief…" Ghastly began to protest. Too late. Boskov opened it and peered down, looking about. Soon enough, he and Hector came back up, placing it back.

"It's just an empty room. There's no windows, just one locked door, that's it. The room is bare," Hector narrated.

"I guess we can take a break, then," Ghastly replied. "Just until I figure out where we are, though."

"Thank heavens," Skarr bitterly said, laying back in the vent and closing his eyes. Boskov yawned, leaning against it.

Ghastly shook her head at her friends, then looked at her wrist computer. Swiftly she hacked into the army's computer and got access to the map. She hacked further, tracing her watch. She smiled on seeing the flashing dot. She zoomed in, nearer and nearer. However, the closer she got, the more her smile fell into worry. Finally she gasped. "Chief, we have to get out of here!" she exclaimed.

"Why? Where are we?" Hector asked, not inclined to leave.

"Chief, we're right above a testing room. They test various gasses and toxins here. They have the ability to seal off this vent on all sides, in order to confine it, yet still get air. If they discover our hiding place, they could gas us with _anything_!" she exclaimed.

"Now all they have to do is _find_ us," Skarr remarked, not concerned. All at once, however, an alarm went off in the vent, and his eyes flew open. Hector sat bolt upright. "That's not good," Skarr remarked.

"They've detected us, crawl!" Ghastly exclaimed, crawling desperately towards the safe part of the vents. The closest thing was a storage room. They had to make it! The vent closed off _there_. If they could get into the room, they'd be safe!

ECC

Instantly the other two followed her lead. They heard the sound of hissing, and things squealing shut. "What was that?" Skarr asked.

Grimly, Ghastly replied, "They've started the gas, and they're shutting off the vents."

"What kind of gas?" Skarr demanded.

"I don't know General. It could be anything from laughing gas to chlorine gas," she answered.

"Chlorine gas!" he exclaimed in horror.

"It could be a biological weapon, releasing some terrible disease into the air, or it could be harmless," Ghastly said.

"Crawl, Boskov, crawl!" Skarr demanded of the bear, pushing him from behind, trying to speed him up.

They saw gates closing everywhere. Ghastly pointed, saying, "There's our escape!" The vent was growing, so now she could stand up straight. She ran for it, then kicked it open, leaping out. The gate was closing behind her. "Hector, Skarr, come on!" she called.

Hector and Boskov sped up, barely squeezing out in time. Skarr was about to follow, when all at once he realized he couldn't run anymore. "What the…" he began, looking back. He gasped, paling. He'd been snagged! He whirled, trying to free himself. He could see the gas coming at him.

"Skarr!" Hector cried. General Skarr turned as he pulled free. Just then the valve closed off, making him pale. He took a deep breath, seeing the gas almost on him, and held it in, banging on the valve.

"Boskov, break him out!" Ghastly ordered.

"Then the gas will come out _here_!" Hector replied.

"We just need it open enough to pull Skarr out. Barely anything will escape!" Ghastly argued.

Boskov roared an agreement, hurrying to the valve and seizing it, trying to pry it open. "General Skarr's having nothing but bad luck," Hector remarked. Ghastly bit her lip and rubbed her fingers together worriedly. They heard coughing.

"Boskov!" she and Hector cried. With a grunt, the bear pulled the valve open just barely, and out tumbled the General, coughing and gasping. Quickly Boskov let the valve shut again.

ECC

Ghastly knelt next to him, asking, "Sir, are you alright?" Unable to talk for the coughing, he waved his hand, dismissing her worry.

"We need to get him back to the base for observation, in case that gas was poisonous or will make him sick," Hector declared.

Ghastly checked the teleporter, hoping and praying it was charged. She grinned on seeing it was, then said, "It's ready! We're out of here!" With that she pressed the button, and the group reappeared in the lab.

Skarr remained coughing violently. "Skarr, how much did you inhale?" Hector asked.

Skarr looked up, barely managing to answer, "Only a little bit."

"This isn't good," Ghastly remarked, worried. It wasn't tear gas, or laughing gas, or any other relatively harmless gas that she could come up with. Not with a coughing fit like this. He looked too green, too. "We need to get you to your room, so I can keep you under observation," Ghastly fearfully continued.

"Yes, room, fine," Skarr replied through his coughs, accepting Boskov's help up.

ECC

He lay in his bed looking ill and tired. Ghastly and Hector worriedly watched. "What is it, do you think?" Hector questioned, bringing Ghastly away from the room and into the lab.

"I have no clue what they used Chief. If I did, I'd be doing something other than watching," she replied, tired. "It could have been experimental. I'll have to keep him under observation for a while."

"Do that. Don't leave his side until we know what's wrong," Hector declared. She nodded.

"Oh please, don't be so worried. I'm fine. Just tired, and a little shaken. What's a cough?" a voice suddenly said, startling them. They turned.

"Skarr, you should be in bed!" Hector shot.

"Don't be silly. I'm fine," Skarr insisted.

"Well, as long as you don't do anything too strenuous. You can move around, but we'll be watching you," Ghastly stated. "Any sign of trouble, you're back in bed."

"Oh please. I'm not a child needing to be mothered," Skarr complained. Yet he didn't refuse. He simply sat down exhaustedly.

"Are you okay?" Ghastly questioned.

He looked incredulously at her, then answered, "I sat down. I told you, I'm tired."

"Oh, yeah, right," she said, glancing away, embarrassed.

"Ghastly, watch him," Hector ordered. "I'm going off to plan my latest scheme."

"Sure thing chief," Ghastly replied, eyes glued to Skarr. Hector raised an eyebrow. Boskov looked confused, but nonetheless they left.


	10. Nightmare

Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

(A/N: Second up today. I will probably finish posting this whole story today as well.)

Nightmare

"For the last time, Doctor Ghastly, I'm fine," Skarr insisted, as she instantly began smothering him with thermometers, warm cloths, and medicine. "It was just a cough."

"Oh, well, okay…" she hesitantly said, pulling away. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure," he assured, annoyed.

"Right, okay, bye," she said, heading towards the door. "If you need anything though."

"Oh for heaven's sake, go and get some sleep," he ordered.

"Yeah, sure," she agreed, heading out. He shook his head, then suddenly coughed. She turned around, scared, asking, "What's wrong?"

"Go Major, just a cough," Skarr ordered. She looked about to protest, but he went up to her, shoving her towards the door.

"Wait, here's a baby monitor, keep it by your bed so I can here what's happening. General Skarr, we still don't know what this is…" she protested, waving it in the air. He seized it from her hand, shoved her out, then shut the door behind her and leaned on it, sighing. He rose upright, about to go to bed, but he suddenly paused a moment and looked back. On the other side, Ghastly stared fearfully at the door. Finally, though, she shook her head and went to her own room. She had to calm down.

ECC

She jolted awake with a scream, panting. She heard a coughing fit and gasped. Skarr! She forced down the panic and dread welling in her. He didn't stop. He was beginning to gasp. All at once it ended, and she heard him catching his breath. He was awake. She tried to ignore, but she couldn't. Finally she sighed and got up, grabbing the cough medicine, a blanket, and a pillow. There was _no_ way she would get back to sleep.

He heard his door open. He was sitting up, hand on his forehead. Tiredly he looked up, curious. Well, not so much curious. He knew who it was. More accepting and grateful. "Ghastly," he greeted weakly.

"Are you… I know you don't want to hear this, but are you alright?" she asked.

"I'm not dying, if that's what you mean," he replied, some strength coming back.

She hesitated, then went to him with the cough syrup, saying, "Maybe this'll help."

He looked incredulously at it, then at her. Finally he took it, saying, "Thanks."

"No problem," she absently replied, fingering his dresser. Putting the medicine down, after taking some, he looked curiously at her.

"What do you want, doctor?" Skarr questioned after determining she wasn't about to just leave.

ECC

She closed her eyes tightly. She'd hoped he wouldn't ask. Finally she turned to him. She might as well get it off her chest. After all, he was her friend. It wasn't _that_ weird, was it? She looked down, admitting, "I… I had a nightmare."

He raised an eyebrow. "And this concerns me why?" he asked.

She finally met his eyes, replying, "It was _about_ you." He started, shocked. He could see it for Hector, maybe, but _him_? "Ever since your… your supposed death… Skarr, they've _all_ been about you. Every night, without fail, and they're getting worse."

He blinked at her in disbelief. After a moment he prompted, now curious, "Go on."

"I guess," she reluctantly said. She looked down again, turning away and rubbing her arms. She began. "When you love someone, your first instinct is to look up, if they step away, to see if they're still there… You're not." He perked up instantly. Had she just said she loved him? As a friend, of course, she was obsessed with that idiot Con Carne, but still; and where was she going with this? "Sometimes you're there, then you just disappear. We try to find you. _I_ try, and you're nowhere. You're just, _gone_. Other times I _do_ find you. Those are the scary ones, because I always find you dead, or dying. I run to you, but it's too late. There's nothing I can do to save you. In more recent dreams, I'm watching you being killed, and I can't help."

He found himself actually feeling a little sorry for her. Pity? Impossible. After a time, he quietly, gently, stated, "They're just dreams, Ghastly, nothing more."

"It doesn't stop them from seeming so real," she replied. There was silence. What could he say to _that_? Suddenly she asked, "Can I… can I sleep here tonight? Just on the floor. That coughing fit sounded bad. I want to be sure it doesn't happen again."

Like Hades. She wanted to know he would still _be_ there when she woke up. He knew it all too well. Surprisingly, then, he found himself nodding, answering, "Go ahead. Make yourself at home. See if _I_ care. So, are we back to plotting on how to win over Con Carne?"

She blushed. "Uh, actually, after you supposedly died, Hector saved my life. He comforted me and we had a moment. I think he's finally getting a clue. Of course I couldn't enjoy it. You were gone, and we were mourning. Gee Skarr, I never meant for you to _die_ for the plan," she teased.

"I didn't. Good for you Doctor," he replied, laying down and drinking the medicine. She blinked. Oh boy, it was worse than she thought. She lay down too, though.

ECC

The clock struck midnight. Both lay sleeping soundly. All at once, however, Ghastly began to toss and turn, moaning and muttering on hearing the chimes subconsciously. All at once Skarr was jolted awake by her scream. "General!" she cried. He shot bolt upright with a gasp, thinking he was being attacked, and drew his rapier, prepared to fight back. "General Skarr!" she screamed again. He whirled, facing her. On seeing her, though, he knew instantly she was having a nightmare. At first angry and annoyed, ready to yell at her, his gaze began to soften as he watched her. She wouldn't stop. For a moment he even felt _worried_. "Skarr!" she suddenly shrieked, bolting up, sobbing. He nearly had a heart attack.

"Ghastly, please!" he exclaimed, leaping out of bed and pulling her to him, holding her tightly, instinctively. He stroked his friend's hair, cradled her. Firmly, gently, he urged her to be quiet. This was so undignified, yet he found himself unable to reproach the woman sobbing into his chest. This _couldn't_ be a good sign. Soon enough she was simply clinging to him, trying to catch her breath. He continued to stroke her, soothing, "There, there. Better now? Do you need to talk about it? Do you need me to get Hector for you? Ghastly, what ails you?"

"A-a nightmare, General, just a nightmare," she replied hoarsely, meekly. "Don't worry about me. Don't bother Hector."

He said nothing a moment, waiting for her to become calmer. Finally he inquired, though he wasn't really sure he _wanted_ to know, "What was it about?"

ECC

At first she said nothing. Finally, though, she narrated, "I was standing in a field, beneath a weeping willow tree. The wind was lazily blowing the tall grass and willow branches. I'm waiting for someone. I think maybe Hector, but then I hear marching. I look down the hill. An endless army is passing by, just the silhouettes of men, but I know they're soldiers. Then I get this feeling of dread. A shadow breaks away, coming towards me. I can't tell who it is, I assume it's Hector, but as he nears I see…" She trailed off.

"You see…" he prompted.

She swallowed, closing her eyes and holding him tighter. "I see _you_," she finally admitted. Skarr's eye widened, shocked. "This is weird, I know, but dreams are weird. They don't mean anything, right? You come up to me and I greet you, taking your hands. You look distracted, sad. Then I gently place my hand upon your face, your scar, and ask what's wrong. You just take my hand and gaze mournfully at me. You kiss my palm, then back away into the army. I call out to you, but you don't come back, and I'm left waiting."

He'd almost scoffed at the thought of anyone touching his scar, but he restrained himself. Maybe it was out of pity, or maybe he sensed the solemnity. Instead, he whispered, "Go on,"

"Then the field changed. There's still the hill, still the weeping willow, but it looks terrifying. I look around, and down the hill I'm watching the most vicious battle I've ever seen. Death everywhere, screaming, crying…On the other side, away from the battle, stretches endless graves and crypts, going as far as I can see. I'm shocked, then scared. Then I hear a noise and turn. I gasp. I try to scream, but I can't. It's… it's th-the Grim Reaper, standing right in front of me above a grave. He points at it, and I follow his finger. Then I see it," she continued.

"See what?" Skarr softly asked.

She answered, "I see… I see your name on the headstone. Then I look down into the battle, and I see you finally sustaining the mortal wound. I scream 'General.' You're bleeding badly, dying slowly and painfully. No one helps you. Even if they did, they wouldn't be able to do anything. Then the battle disappears, and I see just the grave. I scream for you again, looking for you, trying to find you. I feel something on my shoulder, and I turn. You're there, gazing gravely at the tomb, then to me. I take your hand and hold it to my cheek, making sure you're really there. I see you, I feel you, you're there, but you shake your head as if you're telling me than no… no you're not. Then I hear the army again. I don't want to look away from you, because I know that if I look away I'll lose you, but I do. I see figures rising up from the graves below. I move towards them, scared, then look back to see if you're still there. You're gone. Then there's only the grave, then everything goes quiet, disappears, and I call your name once more."

ECC

He listened in shock. Strange that she would have such a dream concerning _him_. Why _had_ she? Why did he suddenly feel so elated it wasn't Hector she cried out for? Why… Oh forget it. He knew. He realized it with a start. He lov…oh heck no. He _cared_ for her, deeply. He leaned against his dresser, letting her rest on his chest and neck. After a moment, he assured, "It's over now, Major Doctor. Shh, it's over."

She shivered, but calmed quickly down. Why wasn't she letting go? Why did she feel so safe in his arms? _Him_ of all people? The traitor of the group. Why was she even asking? "Don't leave us, General Skarr. I want you to be here, always. Please," she begged.

He was silent a moment. He couldn't make that promise, and they both knew it. At least not in the way she implied. She knew he wouldn't stay here forever. Not even when he was _content_ here would he have remained. However, he _could_ make the vow in the sense that terrified her _most_. Finally he answered, "Take my love, my pain, and _all_ of my anger." She looked up at him, curious at the meaning of those words. He met her gaze, and her breath caught in her throat as the endless possibilities hit her. He didn't describe what they meant. He never _would_. That was for her to decide, to interpret. Instead, he finished, "I'll never leave you. Not like _that_. But you know I can't stay here."

Tears in her eyes, she swallowed, answering, "Yes." They hardly noticed how close they'd drawn to each other.

ECC

In that moment, something happened that neither wanted to face again. She'd dreamt of a moment like this, but the man she was about to share it with wasn't the man she'd pined so long for. He was her friend, her General, nothing more. She was his co-worker and Major, whose optimism and goody, goody attitude ticked him off, but at the same time offered him such a welcome relief from himself. He couldn't get it _elsewhere_. It wasn't right, but at the same time felt _so_ right. They gazed into each other's eyes, then almost by some unnatural force, drew closer and closer together. Faces only centimeters apart, they paused only when their noses touched, then advanced once more until the most unexpected thing in the universe happened. Their lips met, and neither pulled away.

It wasn't a passionate kiss. It was chaste and gentle. But it offered so much more than a fiery one could ever have _hoped_ to. It seemed like a long time, but was mere seconds. All at once, they pulled apart slowly, breathing shakily. What had they just done? This wasn't supposed to happen, but they wouldn't change it, even if they could. They opened their eyes.

All at once, Skarr realized that Ghastly was stroking his scar, near to his evil eye. Automatically he reached up to pry her hand away, but she soothed, "Don't. It isn't frightening." He paused, taken aback. She continued, "There's nothing to worry about. I'm not appalled by it. You're not a monster, Skarr." He blinked at her, then closed his eyes, swallowing. No one had ever _done_ something like that before. Some were revolted, some were afraid, few treated him like a normal being. The one eyed weirdo, not that he'd particularly cared when anyone called him that is. He was used to it. But her… Why was she _doing_ this?

"Tell that to everyone else," he stated bitterly, gently covering the hand caressing his face.

He was so hateful, so cynical. How could he _live_ with himself? She couldn't imagine _herself_ being able to take it. But somehow, he _did_. "They need to learn themselves," she replied. He looked at her in disbelief. Right then, he almost kissed her a second time, but he caught himself, simply lying down on the floor. They were friends, nothing more. Forget the heat of the moment. At least she had some practice for when she went at Con Carne again.

She looked at him, then lie down as well, glad for it. Glad for the contact with the man she dreaded to lose again. They just fell asleep, her arm stretched over his torso, and his beneath her head, caressing her, stroking her. Nothing happened, no advances. Why would friends do that? Only once was Skarr awakened by whimpering. Only then did he take her into his arms and whisper, "Hush, Major Doctor, I'm here. I'm still here."


	11. I Can't Stay Here

Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

(A/N: Third up today.)

I Can't Stay Here

The duo was woken early, by the sound of cooing pigeons. At first they were blissfully unaware of what had happened, then all at once they remembered who they were with, and both froze. Nothing happened for a bit. Finally, though, Ghastly said, "M-morning General Skarr."

"Morning," he curtly replied.

"Uh, I see you're feeling better. I'd better go get ready for the day," she quickly said.

"Do that," he answered. She quickly rose and looked at him a moment. She then turned to leave. Just as she reached the door, however, he said, "Ghastly!"

She paused then looked back. "Yeah?" she asked.

"Can we just keep this whole incident quiet," Skarr stated.

"No problem," she said, relieved. With that, she left, and Skarr just stared blankly at the door. Ghastly paused outside, leaning against it. Oh gods, what had they done? No, not like that, she knew what they'd done, nothing, but still… Immortals she hoped things didn't get awkward, or rather, complicated.

ECC

They sat at the dining table in awkward silence, picking at their food as Hector went on about his backup team-up plans. Every time they caught each other's eyes, they glanced away quickly. Hector wasn't completely oblivious, though. He suddenly stopped talking, watching the two curiously. They didn't seem to even notice he wasn't talking anymore. He and Boskov exchanged looks, then Hector questioned, "General Skarr, Major Doctor Ghastly, what's going on?"

Instantly they perked up. Before a second had passed, Ghastly was exclaiming, "Nothing chief, nothing happened, I swear! We didn't do anything wrong!"

At the same time, Skarr said, "Going on? Nothing's going on! What makes you think anything's going on?" They both forced themselves to shut up as Hector looked from one to the other.

"Maybe you should take a break from rehearsing the play," Hector remarked.

"Play, what play? Oh _that_ play," Skarr said, grinning innocently. "Yes, a break, fine."

"Hey Hector, why don't we do something?" Ghastly remarked.

"Do something? Like what? Build an ultimate weapon bent on taking over the world. Build a love gun that can take or bring love?" Hector asked.

"There is no love!" Skarr exclaimed, along with Ghastly. He blinked blankly at them.

"Okay?" he said, more questioned. Why were they acting so strange? He didn't like it. He wondered too at why whenever the slightest hint of pain being dealt to Skarr was given, or even a sneeze, Ghastly went into a panic. Skarr sopped the attention up, though. Rare anyone cared what happened to _him_. He'd take it while it lasted. Hector truly wondered, however, how much longer things could go on like this. They seemed awkward.

ECC

Evil Con Carne walked down the hall, Hector saying, "So I told Estroy to get lost and bug Professor Death Ray Eyes for a gadget." Ghastly smiled brightly, taking in every word. Skarr looked utterly bored with the story. He yawned. Mistake. With his eye closed, he didn't see the stairs, and he wasn't able to watch his step. With a cry of terror he toppled down them, hitting the ground hard.

"Skarr!" Ghastly cried, racing down. "Are you sick? Is the gas having an effect? What's wrong?" she instantly demanded.

Skarr blinked at her, then shouted, "Ghastly, really! I'm fine! No experimental gas, no sickness, no problem. I tripped! It's been a week!"

"Maybe we should examine you," she replied.

He sighed deeply, saying, "For the last time, I'm fine. Touched by your worry, but fine. You can't fly off the handle every time I so much as hiccup."

"Aww, do you really care if she worries?" Stomach questioned, as Boskov reached them.

"Not in the least. Anxiety is a killer, though," Skarr replied. "Trust me, I know," he grumbled, thinking back to Endsville then shuddering. Hector and Ghastly blinked at him. He grinned innocently, shrugging.

ECC

Standing at inspection, Evil Con Carne looked out over the ranks that Skarr had, of course, shipped into shape since his return. He grinned evilly as Hector chuckled. Ghastly just smiled proudly at the men. After a few moments, however, the three were sweating bullets as the sun bore down on them. Ghastly didn't even see the point in this test. To determine who would collapse last? Determine the most resilient soldier? She doubted it, because Hector looked about ready to fall. Hector was the strongest of them all, and that wasn't just her bias.

Hector Con Carne was ordering the soldiers to take it like men. Unfortunately, he didn't pay attention to his minions. Skarr wavered unsteadily, moaning. Maybe there _was_ still some remnant of that gas left over. His head was pounding, he heard his pulse. Finally he gave up, fainting and falling over the edge. Hector and Ghastly gasped in horror. Skarr woke up in mid fall. "Oh poo," he complained. Not that he couldn't walk this off like so many other times. He landed on his back and cried out in pain. "Skarr!" Ghastly cried, leaping over the edge after him, surprising the General. Hector blinked, then exchanged looks with Boskov, hurrying down the steps.

"Skarr, are you okay! What's happening?" Ghastly demanded, lifting his head onto her lap. He blinked at her in shock.

"Skarr, what is with you? Can't you take the heat? I know you can do better than this, I've _seen_ you," Hector demanded. He then stiffened and looked from Skarr to Ghastly. "What are you doing Major Doctor?" Hector asked.

"Making sure he's okay," Ghastly said.

"By pampering him?" Hector questioned, eyebrow raised.

Skarr smiled, leaning back, arms behind his head, saying, "Oh I could get used to this. Hector, really, having a woman pamper you is quite the experience." Ghastly frowned then dropped him. Skarr cried out in pain. "What was that for woman!" he demanded.

"Take a guess," she replied.

"At least it made Hector curious!" Skarr defended.

ECC

She blinked, then looked to the man she loved. Hector did indeed look ponderous. Boskov seemed to be daydreaming about it. "Nice one," she remarked in a whisper.

"Ow," Skarr groaned, rubbing his head.

She became concerned again, asking, "Are you okay?"

"Fine, just a bump," he replied, standing up.

"Good, then get back up there and monitor the men," Hector ordered.

"Yes sir!" Skarr replied, saluting.

"As for you, Ghastly, what's it like to be pampered?" he asked in genuine curiosity, no other emotion in his voice.

Like she cared. She blushed deeply, bit her bottom lip, and squealed, jumping up and down. She hadn't been this excited since her slumber party with Estroy and his sons. "I'll show you chief, I'll show you everything! Let's go right now!" She grabbed Boskov's hand and ran off, dragging them along. "Thank you General, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Skarr blinked blankly after them as they disappeared inside. Moments later he heard Hector say, "Oh Ghastly, I never knew you were so _good_ at that!" Huh, strange. Why did he feel suddenly so depressed? Why was he suddenly regretting ever helping her? He looked sadly down, then up once more with his regular icy expression. Grumbling, he headed to the top of the meeting place. "Company march! Four laps around the island!" he ordered. He pointed towards the beach, and they instantly obeyed. He watched them disappear, then sighed deeply, leaning on the ledge and looking forlornly towards the Bunny. Maybe it was about time he put an end to his vacation. He had a garden to look after back home anyway. His pigeons flew over to him, and he smirked. He let them land on him and cooed, "Oh my precious pigeons, you understand how I feel, don't you? I only wish you could explain it to _me_."

ECC

Skarr walked towards Hector's room slowly, looking down. Well, now was as good a time as ever to warn Hector he was leaving. The men were up to snuff, they would do Con Carne good for a while longer. Besides, Ghastly could handle the soldiers. They didn't need him here any longer. At least not for a while. He looked up curiously on hearing footsteps. Ghastly was dragging her feet, looking down.

"Ghastly, what's wrong? Weren't you just with Hector?" Skarr asked.

"I was, until Cataclysma called in. Now the two are chatting like old friends," she complained.

"They _are_ old friends," Skarr replied. "_Best_ friends, practically."

"Great," Ghastly muttered.

Just then Hector came out saying, "Oh, Ghastly, there you are. I wondered where you'd gone."

"Just to find Skarr chief," Ghastly stated.

"Good, now Skarr, Cataclysma and I have come up with a plan that…" Hector began.

Skarr cut him off quickly, though, saying, "About that, sir, I'm afraid I'll be leaving in the morning."

"What!" Hector and Ghastly exclaimed together.

Skarr replied, "Things are going well. You've partnered up with Cataclysma, you have your plan set out. You don't need my motivation anymore. The soldiers are all up to par, and frankly, I've done all I needed to _do_ here. It's time I went home."

"But-but-but…" Hector stammered. Boskov burst into tears.

"So soon General?" Stomach questioned.

"Afraid so. Besides, I dread to think of the mess my home's become," Skarr stated, shivering.

"Oh…You just got here though," Ghastly said, tone quieter than she'd meant it to sound. She bit her tongue and covered in a stronger voice, "Well, with the exception to being captured and nearly executed. You spent more time in prison than with us."

"True enough," Skarr admitted. "However, nothing will change my mind."

"Would you stay if we promised you the world!" Hector quickly asked.

"Will we ever win Hector, really? Even with Cataclysma's help," Skarr stated, heading towards his room, the others trailing behind him.

"But General Skarr, we're so close to world domination," Ghastly insisted.

"Then remember me if you actually manage to _accomplish_ it," Skarr replied.

ECC

They were still pleading as he finished packing his bags in his room. He had, by now, tuned them out though, highly annoyed. Finally they just stopped as he turned to face them both. "Farewell Hector, until another time," Skarr said, saluting. "Major Doctor Ghastly… sayonara."

"Fine, be that way!" Hector said, angry now. "Don't expect a piece of the world for yourself though!"

"I don't expect a piece for _anyone_," Skarr retorted.

"If you weren't leaving tomorrow Skarr, I'd lock you up!" Hector warned. Ghastly paled with a gasp, but quickly forced the worry down. Besides, Hector couldn't keep up the angry persona. It fell into disappointment, and he said, "Oh forget it. Goodbye General. I hope you change your mind and return to us one day."

"Unlikely," Skarr replied. Hector blinked in surprise, then looked sadly down. He'd never really been friends with his General. In fact, they were the opposite, but he'd never really realized how much he'd miss the guy and his motivation. "Gardening is my passion now Hector," Skarr finished, feeling slightly guilty.

"Gardening, pah," Hector complained angrily, walking out.

ECC

Ghastly watched as Skarr prepared his suitcases for the departure the next morning, then looked sadly down. "Major Doctor, what do you want?" Skarr asked. She started. She didn't think he knew she was still in the room. He hadn't seen her leave, and hadn't turned in order to check. She thought he'd assume she left with Hector.

Ghastly rubbed her arm, biting her lower lip, then admitted, "Well, it's just that… I'll miss you Skarr."

He looked back at her finally. After a moment, he said, "You have Hector now, Ghastly. Just because Cataclysma's in the picture doesn't mean you've lost him again. These long distance relationships rarely work out."

"You think?" she asked.

"I know," he replied seriously.

She smirked, then looked sadly down again. "I wish you wouldn't go," she admitted quietly.

Skarr fought back the flutter in his heart as he watched her, and the pang of regret. No, that was enough. No dwelling on matters like that. He soon looked out the window, saying, "You know, we can dispose of that love potion now. I doubt you'll need it anytime soon."

"A victory celebration?" she teased.

"Whatever you call it," Skarr replied. She smiled.

ECC

They held the potion over the sink. "And so ends the saga of Love Potion 101," Ghastly announced boldly. With that, she and the General poured the vile down the sink together.

"May love never be used as a weapon," Skarr finished. All at once the vial broke, and Skarr cried out in pain, pulling away.

She demanded, "What's wrong!"

"I cut myself on the blasted thing!" Skarr angrily shouted. Quickly he turned on the water and rinsed the cut. Ghastly absently dropped a loose strand of her hair down the sink as well.

She giggled, then grabbed a bandage. "Let me see," she stated. She took his hand and removed the glove, then gently bound the wound. "There we go." He chuckled weakly along with her as they met each other's eyes.

Sadness came to her eyes once more, regret to his. He looked away. "Thank you Ghastly," he said.

"You're welcome," she replied. All at once, though, she hugged him, meekly saying, "You said you'd never leave me."

Shocked at first, he finally held her back, saying, "I swore I'd never leave you in _death_, but I can't stay here. Things are getting… getting complicated."

She said nothing, and he knew instantly that she knew _exactly_ what he meant. So he _hadn't_ been alone. She closed her eyes tightly, then nodded, accepting his declaration. "I know. You're right. You're so, so right," she admitted. Thank goodness he hadn't been the only one to feel it. If only he knew, though, how deeply _she_ felt it. With every fibre, the knowledge was there. It wouldn't break her however, it wouldn't get to her. This was best for her, Hector, _and_ Skarr. "I'll miss you General. You'll come back one day though, won't you?" she asked.

"Always," he assured, holding her a little tighter than necessary.


	12. Alliance Regained

Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

(A/N: Last chapter, third up today.)

Alliance Regained

Skarr walked gloomily towards his house in Endsville. He sighed deeply. He loved the place, but he'd left his neighbor, Ernest he believed was the name, in charge again. He shuddered to think of what had happened to it. Would it even _be_ there? He remembered all too well what had happened over the course of two days, let alone these last few weeks. Hence the reason he'd transported to the docks and taken the long walk back instead of going straight there. His bags he'd sent back to his room, but that was all. He saw it all too soon. He swallowed. At least the outside was intact. Surprisingly enough, not too many holes or cracks. He raised half his eyebrow. Actually, there were _no_ holes or cracks. There wasn't even a scratch on the paint. Had Ernest gotten more reliable? Had he hired a maid? Skarr suspiciously approached, hand on his rapier. Something was off here. He didn't like it.

Skarr slowly opened the door. Not even a squeak. Now he was officially mystified. That door had been struggling with a squeak recently that he'd never gotten around to fixing. "Um, hello? Ernest?" he called tentatively. No answer. He frowned and entered, rapier drawn. "Hello!" he called again. "Who goes there!"

All at once a figure appeared in front of him, saying, "Master Skarr!"

Skarr cried out in alarm, leaping back. "What the…" he began. On seeing the figure, however, he gasped and exclaimed, "Lord _Pain_!"

"Welcome home, Master. I drove that insolent buffoon neighbor of your from the hallowed walls of your abode. He had almost ruined it beyond repair by the time I returned from Level Nine. I repaired the damages and even fixed that infernal squeak in your door. Forgive me for my tardiness, master, but you never called for my aid," Pain summarized, curtly bowing.

ECC

"Wait, you came _back_! You're still my servant! What's going on here? I never called for you because I thought that after that humiliating defeat and the ugly fight we had I'd never see any of you _again_," Skarr said, still shocked.

"Oh come on Skarr, you actually _believed_ that?" a new voice questioned.

"Boogeyman!" Skarr exclaimed, sharply looking over.

"That's Boogey to you, General," Boogey said from his position lounging on the chair and flipping through a gardening magazine. "You've really got to get a life. At least grab some interesting magazines," he bit.

"You don't like the magazines then try opening an actual _book_ sometime," Skarr retorted. "Dare I ask whether or not Jack bothered to show his lantern again?" Skarr wondered.

"Faster than a cat yet you're slower than molasses in January. How ironic. We've been waiting a _week_ for you to show up," another voice added. Skarr blinked blankly and looked to the side. From the kitchen walked Jack, who had spoken.

"A long hard week of 'reconciliation,' if you can call it that," Boogey grumbled in annoyance.

"And nearly destroying each other and the house in the process," Jack remarked.

"But it was worth it," Pain pointed out.

ECC

Skarr smirked, then admitted, "To answer Boogey's question, I suspected our last departure from each other wouldn't be our last meeting, but I didn't plan on getting my hopes up. Why did you three come back?"

"Because it's the closest to revenge and victory we've ever _been_," Boogey bluntly answered.

"Revenge is sweet, victory sweeter. Mix the two together and you've got something worth trying again and again and again," Jack added.

"That and you have been gone a month, master, and every attempt we each individually have taken against them has fallen flat. We were closest to victory when working together, divided we are but nought. That, and really we were getting bored," Pain admitted, disinclined to play down anything.

"What are you doing! Don't tell him that!" Boogey shot.

"Meh, not like _he's_ one to talk," Jack pacified.

Boogey looked about to protest, then shrugged, saying, "I guess you're right."

"Then the Undertakers are joining forces once more?" Skarr questioned.

"We had never left each other in the _first_ place," Lord Pain declared.

"And this time, boys, we're gonna tear up the town," Jack said.

"Literally?" Skarr questioned with a cruel smirk.

"Can you say kidnapping?" Jack replied.

"With a side order of possible murder if things don't go our way," Boogey added.

"Right, and we'll see what happens when we experiment with Boogey's methods of spontaneity. Just a little outing amongst friends you understand," Jack answered, though the tone told them this outing definitely wouldn't be or the normal calibre.

ECC

Now intrigued, Skarr pressed, "Go on."

"Figures of Grim's past whom he's had, what would you call it, Pain?" Jack began.

"Infatuations," Pain replied.

"Right. Whom he's had infatuations with. Turn them against _him_ and to _us_. They don't submit, we deal with them, simple as that," Jack replied.

"We do the villainous acts, the heroes decide whether they want to step in or not," Boogey declared. "We're mischief makers, we do what we do and take opportunity when it comes, if in the process we get something worth keeping or stealing, we take it."

"For instance say the Immortal Triad tried to step in. We pay no heed; if they catch us, fair enough, we'll fight like always, and in the process we try and take what we want," Pain added.

"So we're having an evil party," Skarr said with a smirk.

"Oh it'll be a bash all right," Jack punned.

"Let Chaos reign!" Lord Pain crooned.

"And when we have the victims we're after?" Boogey questioned.

"If the Immortal Triad shows up, we battle them. Those who decide to be loyal to us fight alongside us, those who don't we get rid of. It'll be like a test," Skarr answered. "No one spoils _my _fun and gets away with it."

"Who, might I inquire, is first on the list of party guests to collect?" Pain questioned.

"An ex TV host Grimmy boy has a thing for. Her name's Atrocia, and she's on a talk show tomorrow night," Boogey declared, showing a TV guide.

"Then we'll start _there_. The air vents in that dump of a TV studio are guaranteed entrance," Skarr informed, remembering back to Ghastly's plan of escape in the army base. His stomach knotted at the thought of her, and he pushed it quickly away. Oh, this night on the town couldn't have come soon _enough_.

"Sounds good to _me_," Jack replied.

"Let us begin the preparations," Pain flamboyantly said. Boogey frowned at him and hit the back of his head. Pain frowned at Boogey, unimpressed. A retort couldn't be bothered with though. They had a 'night on the town' to plan.


End file.
